Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the

black flag, and begin slitting throats.  

  In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for;

as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.  

  But where is the fun in that?  

  Remember, cats don't have owners... they have staff.  

  I dont think I am going to be sticking that thing in my mouth anymore. But it's got really nice packaging...  

  You know......we didn't break even one cocktail class!  

  just because I have a penis, doesn't mean I can't enjoy a good pair of shoes  

  The Haunting - The Robert Wise 1963 version. The story of one woman's battle with architecture and lesbianism.  

  After yesterday I called in useless today.  

  I like the dark side. They have donuts here.  

  [...I just wanted to whip something out.  

  Leo is smelly, nasty, fatty, and disgusting.  

  While I often wonder what it would be like to have a larger penis...  

  Oh dear lord- Mom knows how to speak text.  

  But then, I'm a rat...  

  I am also a rat  

  I am also a rat  

  ...my fellow homosexual males...  

  I don't want to know what happens when a ferret acquires a taste for human penis.  

  But it is hard to get in the mood with squawking dinosaurs making all that noise.  

  Being shoved into a tube was my favorite part...  

  There are plenty of hungry legal residents willing to paint my bedroom and then blow me for chump change.  

  I can't trust a straight guy to judge the hottness of a dude. They're just not... equipped to ascertain all the nuances of the male form. It's like asking an emu to tell you if the béarnaise is ready.  

  Watching an evangelical fall is better than eating Reese's Peanut Butter Cups while getting a blow job.  

  You all are poopooheads.