OK I am a tard...  

  OK I am a tard...  

  Mmmmm, that must produce some oozy cubes.  

  Mmmmm, that must produce some oozy cubes.  

  I'm no pagan, but I love a good ritual ...  

  If the zombies are coming, I want to be the one who gets killed before the opening credits.

I  

  Sometimes I just wish someone would say, "Gee, maybe picking lint off of my koolats is annoying to the ten cars who are waiting for the gas pump I just finished using. Maybe I should just get into my car and drive the f*ck off.  

  Hey, Starbucks just came to my neck of the woods last year. I love Starbucks. I can almost summon the power to pretend that the nearby Kraft Singles factory is a lesbian goat cheese collective and that life here is interesting.

If Peet's wants to come, too, I'd bring them a casserole when they moved in.  

  I can almost summon the power to pretend that the nearby Kraft Singles factory is a lesbian goat cheese collective and that life here is interesting.  

  If goodness is determined by the lack of crap in the living room and no piles of shoes, my family and I will be burning in the pit of hell for all eternity.  

  I love my Water Wiggle!  

  I hear grave dancing can be a very effective cardio workout.  

  Your first post should be recorded on vellum and placed deep within the Vault of Ultimate Swankiness, only to be brought out on special occasions, as an example of exalted First Postedness, and then maybe used as a nice table covering while we feast on bacon and bacon by-products.

 

  Can't sleep. Avatars will eat me.  

  My very first Pork was around 1980 I believe.  

  I know you are going to think I am a heretic, but that is just too much meat!  

  I scummed to peer pressure.  

  If this boat's a rockin...well, it's probably due to wind and currents. But there's also the chance someone's having sex, so you'd better knock, to be safe.  

  You haven't really [second-] lived until you encounter the idiot wearing a prominent, badly-sculpted, rampant willie trying to make the cyber-secksies with you when you're wearing a dinosaur avatar. Hilarity.  

  Fvck the vinyl floor mat industry!!  

  Sticking to one's convictions" can be just another way of saying "pigheaded".  

  Doesn't it get a little messy having a fornicating newspaper?  

  OMFG...the only thing missing is a dusting of icing sugar, and you'd have all 3 food groups - sugar, salt and fat, as discovered by most fast-food outlets.

It is rumoured that a fourth food group exists, but they haven't figured out how to get around the liquor laws yet.  

  Well, I could always stuff the chocolate-dipped bacon in my cleavage.  

  I've never had a doctor see me naked either, just exposed wobbly bits at any given time but never completely naked.