I'm grateful for the health that we have and the spirit that makes up for the health we don't have. And also for you rowdy LoT, who make us feel a little more complete, a little more included, a little swankier every year.  

  I think my socks were literally blown off.  

  I replied that, having the benefit of seeing an extreme close-up of makeup-free Angelina in a photographic portrait book a few weeks ago, I could attest that she's actually that craggy in real life.  

  If I told you I'd have to kill you. Really.  

  Once upon a vermin...  

  The a duck catholic? Is a pope's butt water-tight?  

  Wow. If Disney wants less poor people around the resort area, they should PAY THEIR EMPLOYEES BETTER.  

  I'm getting married in an INFLATABLE CHAPEL!  

  You are my happy song sung in harmony with Stevie Wonder as backup artist.  

  Last night I was at the Park, standing back watching the dancers at Carnation Plaza, figuring out who was there and who I could dance with, when something hit me. No, not an idea. I had bird crap in my hair.

The evening went downhill from there.  

  We have no idea what it was, but I for one welcome our new insect overlords.  

  Which is why I find myself living in Los Angeles, producing movie websites, and.. today... writing a political play about Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots. Mmmm, that's good derail.  

  You mean some taco is going to find out we're a bunch of boobie-crazed, hedonistic, long-winded but articulate hamheads that like to go to Pancakeland, bacon museums and swanky restaurants and know how to throw a good sphincter?  

  ... And every leap of faith needs to start from a springboard of clear thinking ...  

  Well, I passed "lather" but I failed "rinse," and then I failed "repeat" too because it includes rinse, which I don't think is very fair.  

  So that's what the kids are calling it these days.  

  If the zombies are coming, I want to be the one who gets killed before the opening credits.

I  

  You haven't really [second-] lived until you encounter the idiot wearing a prominent, badly-sculpted, rampant willie trying to make the cyber-secksies with you when you're wearing a dinosaur avatar. Hilarity.  

  lol duh...lol  

  Who put the goat in there?  

  Paradise Pier can smurf my smurf!  

  I'm sick and slightly brian dead...  

  Robin Hood is still the only anthropomorphic fox that rings my bell-el-el. Rings my bell. (My bell. Dingalingaling) my beeeeell. Rings my bell.  

  I like having my flesh pressed against my planet.  

  Nipples can wait. (It's the sequel to Heaven Can Wait.)