I'm waiting for Rowan & Martin's Haunted Mansion. Is Ruth Buzzi available?  

  Mmmm...you are just too easy.  

  Please excuse me, I have a Jew egg to care for.  

  Does a fish like water? Does a cat like the nip? Does iSm hate the Pirates additions?  

  You have to pay to get out of Disney jail? Do you have to pay in Disney dollars?  

  A suburb is where they chop down all the trees and name streets after them  

  I asked him if he was drinking water. "No. I had a rough day, so I needed something stronger. I am drinking juice.  

  I am a Melon-Baller,
All day I Melon-Ball.
Of all appalling callings,
Melon-Balling's worst of all.  

  The next war should be fought by World of Warcraft high-scorers.  

  I just wanted to whip something out.  

  Mmmmm, that must produce some oozy cubes.  

  I've not blown anything too bad.  

  People. Are. Ignorant.  

  Vun! Vun blessing! Ha, ha, ha. Two! Two blessings! Ha, ha, ha.  

  Quilting is what old ladies do in groups.

Knitting is what old ladies do by themselves once they've been abandoned by family into poorly run nursing home.

Crocheting is what old ladies do when they realize that no extra roll of toilet paper should ever be left without the protection of a doll outfitted in an antebellum dress including large hoop skirt.

Macrame is what quilters, knitters, and crocheters make fun of.

Or so I've learned from my family experience.  

  Moonie's idea is good.  

  I'm the only one allowed to eat Stoat around here. Thank you.

 

  I'm pretty sure that a wide open hole is a pretty good warning in and of itself.  

  The whole thing sounds like a big circle jerk with mouse ears on, to me.  

  The concept of my post worked much better in my brain...  

  I suppose even the creeps among us have abilities  

  I gave it to a very surprised barmaid in the transit lounge.  

  What Moonliner said, you bitch.  

  Where do you apply a banana republic anyway? I would hope they'd at least buy him dinner first!  

  I'm confused