Scrolling to see any of the actual content of the page is aggravating. Time to bookmark the "New Posts" page.  

  But tough titty, said the kitty, when the milk ran dry.  

  It occurs to me that that comes off as a party pooper post. And I make enough of those that I don't need to do it unintentionally.  

  Yes, it's a fact, when most of you first met me via MousePad and MouseAdventure, I was but a baby-fresh 25-year-old already with the soul of a near-death octogenarian.

In the years since my soul died.  

  Most people are just finding in it what they were already looking for.  

  Surely you two can understand that when it comes to really important matters things just don't have any weight unless they're said by a man?

Now go bake me a cake.  

  I'm an equal opportunity farter.  

  Many of you amuse me. When you all really start to organize for Japan I'll be really amused.  

  (I'm not afeard because sickness is a sign of moral weakness and I am morally pure and therefore immune to the flu).  

  How can we call canned meat spam when it doesn't contain any unwanted commercial email?  

  If bitchy sarcasm from me surprises you then you haven't been paying attention.  

  If it weren't complete social taboo, and if it could be acquired ethically, and I'd if it weren't for an extremely heightened risk of food-borne illness, I'd be willing to try haunch o' human.  

  Shhh! You'll set off Strangler Lewis!  

  Love is finding reason to overlook the fact that the other person is really kind of douchey sometimes.  

  I saw that yesterday and am much amused by it, so amused by it that I had actually printed it out to put on my cube wall when I realized I was about to become the type of person that prints out comics and puts them on my cube wall.

I don't want to be that guy so I threw it away. But I'm still amused by it.  

  But I'm sorry that when you post to a message board people actually converse instead of just giving you thumbs up and a "nice one!  

  A country that dwells too much on the suck in life finds itself killing people for really stupid reasons a couple centuries down the road.  

  That which is embarrassing among friends is not a 1 to 1 overlap with that which is embarrassing when you're mom wants to talk about it.  

  Now I'm confused. Perchance you've outwitted me?  

  Jesus, even in your dreams you don't invite me to things.  

  Any continuation of the line of thought is going to end up using "love tunnel," and awkward first person exposition, I just know it.  

  Another first world problem: Not being able to experience actual life horrors sufficient to prevent using hyperbolic comparisons to society level murderers.  

  Superstar Limo at least had its awfulness going for it as a point of interest.  

  No, you're all retarded. And by retarded I mean gay. And by gay I mean Mormon.  

  I will say that the continued existence of LoT is important to me for the reason that hitting the main page the quote displayed is often mine and I amuse me.