You don't bring an undercooked turkey to the table at Thanksgiving. If it is inedible, you finish cooking it or don't serve it at all.


After riding that ride, I would have rather not seen it at all...  

  So, is Michael J. Fox screwing sheep or not?  

  Something tells me that everyone on the lot is a character. You'll have plenty of stories to tell...  

  Who'd call their kid "Mitt" ?!?! WTF.

"Mommy's calling, kids, time for supper. Come little Mitt, come little Bat, come little Ballpark Frank  

  I think about shaving mine a lot. since it started slowly turning white I start to wonder whats under there.  

  Scramble and cook eggs to coincide with completion of eggs.  

  Why don't we just lock ourselves inside our homes, duct tape our heads to our assholes, and declare victory in the War on Terror?  

  Wow, you survived the east coast.



Oh, um, we've kinda gone all Armegeddon while you were out.  

  I had some Cherokee in me once, but we broke up.  

  .....and now we have vampiric arachnids in our midst....great.



personally, I think Im gonna go back to bed and let this weirdness tsunami subside  

  We received a cast iron skillet for Hannukah.

Bacon will be had.  

  Honey, I was a FH before you were gay.  

  Dear DCL:

Enclosed please find: One (1) woman with a tangle of red hair, who answers to the luxurious and swanky name of "Not Afraid" and one (1) small cute widdle pug-dog, who sometimes answers to the name of "Thurston" but will run faster if you call him "Bacon" (hereinafter known as "Pooch").

The esteemed Mrs. Afraid suffers from a condition in which her hair grows mottled and limp, her eyes glaze over, she becomes taken with fits of excessive howling and stealing the bacon and/or Olszewski sculptures of other persons. Said condition, "Thurstonicus Missimus", cannot be cured, but the symptoms can be minimized to undetectable levels via repeated applications of saliva to the face by said Pooch.

Therefore, it is urgent and necessary that Mrs. Afraid take the Pooch, who has been certified and trained in the saliva-transfer method after months of relentless and brutal conditioning, on your sailing establishment.

If you have any questions about the above, please feel free to contact my wife, who will make you something yummy to eat until you forget the question. Thank you, and have a pleasant tour.

Love and kisses,
Dr. Kevy (or at least I played one once).  

  Do I need to do back flips? Do I have to strip? Do I need to attach a lighted neon sign to my head? Do I have to open an all-you-can-eat bacon buffet? Do I have to juggle 20 running chainsaws? I'll do whatever it takes folks...  

  Make sure to take a dump first.  

  Can't sleep. Avatars will eat me.  

  I hope the quote comes with a secret decoder ring.  

  The psycho on the bus goes stab, stab, stab...  

  I love bacon, I love Mexican food. That is the problem, there is no bacon in mexican food. Not even carnitas, lots of pig in Mexican food, but still no bacon.  

  ... that boy has some balls. I mean, I could strip in front of strangers, but in front of Glenn Close? Yeeech.  

  ...the subject of bacon happened to come up.  

  I am done messing with Pricks, so I will use beef.  

  Pfft... who wants to hang with decent folks?

I'm coming out to see you guys  

  I do think hockey players are studs  

  How can we call canned meat spam when it doesn't contain any unwanted commercial email?