Think about how stupid the average person is. Then realize that half of everyone is dumber than that.  

  I hear Cafe Orleans has a great breakfast.  

  That Latte, a steaming hot cup of illicit sex...  

  Bacon, boobs and girthy packages invade every thread, eventually.  

  I try to get on as many (**** lists) as possible. It was in one of those 1001 things to do before you die book things.  

  (Blah blah blah)...I had a point...

oh right... (continues)  

  room? only room anywhere nearby was the outhouse...and that was DEFINITELY self serve
 

  I think Cotillard's dress was terrible. I said it last night and I'll say it again... She looked like a tilapia.  

  It occurs to me that that comes off as a party pooper post. And I make enough of those that I don't need to do it unintentionally.  

  I said cake. There are only two kinds of cake. Everything else is just a pretender to the title.  

  The Power of Chrysler Compels You!!!  

  Great news. There is nothing sadder to me in this world then a sick boob. May your wife's breasts continue to grow and prosper in good health. I believe its time to take them out and celebrate, preferably at the next meet! Huzzah!  

  Let me tell you about the bacon cheeseburger.

Nearly 1/2 inch thick sliced bacon, somewhat candied like we had on New Year's Eve. Was there a burger involved? I'm sure there was, but I can't remember it well enough to describe it except to say that it came with the most amazing bacon.  

  What's the ecological impact of a loose inflatable pig?  

  Well unfortunately for you all, you can also get The Gay© by reading the same message board that a mo posts on, so you might as well learn to relax those throat muscles...  

  I was having a crappy day at work today, until a group of old ladies got into an altercation in front of my window - it was the funniest thing I've ever seen, like an episode of Golden Girls gone horribly wrong.  

  I missed hernias, cognac, and aliens? Damn it!  

  ...the subject of bacon happened to come up.  

  Dude, there was NO BACON in that dream. How could it possibly be labeled "best dream evar" without some freaking bacon in it?  

  soo...if you ever want to try something to really make your mouth tingle and give yourself a really low opinion of yourself, try what I just did...

make a nice cup of tea
light a scented xmas candle
start net surfing in earnest
then, while paying no attention to what youre doing, sip a bit of the melted wax from the lit candle you set too close to your cup of tea
afterward, spend an hour or so trying to get that taste out of your mouth and peeling the wax from your skin and combing it out of your beard (if any).

good times....


PS: also, be sure and write down the new curse words you discover in the process  

  Yes, but I don't want to meet random people, I want to meet LoTters. You know, people I can trust to construct complete sentences that don't consist entirely of "me too!!!!  

  I was thinking of just inviting JWBear over to do it - and maybe add GD's suggestions of serving cocktails - then we can just be three fitted sheets to the wind.  

  am I seriously joining a discussion of the real-world-logistics of creating a boatplanecar?  

  Predicting a 4-5 magnitude earthquake is not quite like saying it will be sunny here in LA, but close.  

  Any continuation of the line of thought is going to end up using "love tunnel," and awkward first person exposition, I just know it.