Yes, it does seem that a robotic sphincter would solve all your problems.  

  Woooo that looks really gay. I'm in!  

  Wow that sounds like a lot of fun! Except for the no-pants part.  

  When we went house-hunting last weekend, we visited Disney's Hyperion Studios, which was renamed "Gelson's". Like Disney-MGM, it no longer has a working animation team on site.  

  MmMMmM. Smoked pork roast, cooked by the essence of flaming tragedy.  

  Which is why I find myself living in Los Angeles, producing movie websites, and.. today... writing a political play about Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots. Mmmm, that's good derail.  

  (Bing Crosby sits by his fireplace in a smoking jacket with a mug of hot cider in one hand. A lit Christmas tree sits to his left.)
Bing: "Hello, friends. You know, nothing says Christmas like a giant rubber double-sided dong.  

  Eating the Disneyland mapbook ranks higher than Village Haus.  

  C'mon people settle down. You've already gone and got the thread sticky.  

  And it looks like the rabbit in your sig is preventing cancer.  

  ...does spraying Leo with whipped cream count as cooking ?  

  Yabba Dabba Doo!  

  Did you know that garbage disposals are not meant for grinding up small decorative coffee cups even though they fit down the drain?

I'll bet you didn't know that no one in my family has any idea what I'm talking about when I interrogated them on who broke our ding-dang-diddley disposal either.  

  Then you're doing it wrong. You need to practice your vomiting skills. A well performed vomit should sound more like "hu, hu, ugh, hhhrrrrrruuuwoooosh, oh god, god dammit, hhhhrrrrrrooowooosh".  

  If it was about passenger comfort, there would be all sorts of different fares, classes and cabins:

"Won't shut the f*ck up" class.
"Won't turn off cell phone until threatened with arrest" class.
"Insists on looking important by calling someone to say they've landed as soon as the wheels touch the ground" class.
"Last to board with a carryon that requires reshuffling of all overhead bins" class.
"Stows bunched up sweater in overhead bin on crowded flight" class.
"Blares music through headphones that I can hear three rows up" class.
"Falls asleep against window during drink orders" class. (Tap. Tap. "Excuse me, did you . . .?)

And so on. These people should all be charged extra. Or just given a good horsewhipping on the spot. Which I would pay extra to administer.  

  I am keeping my expectations low but it is a woodie after all.  

  So she bought some lube and injected it and thought that would work - and it didn't. Color me shocked.  

  My pants are missing again. I think I'll just pour some more Dr. Pepper on myself and stick to the chair.  

  Another good tip is to add bacon to your bacon - a wonderful taste treat!  

  It's the steam punk internet!  

  I saw that yesterday and am much amused by it, so amused by it that I had actually printed it out to put on my cube wall when I realized I was about to become the type of person that prints out comics and puts them on my cube wall.

I don't want to be that guy so I threw it away. But I'm still amused by it.  

  I must agree. I see zero sense in making such a thing so readily available to the first feckless wanker with $200 burning a hole in his pocket.


(mine should arrive in 10-14 business days )  

  I read that as Bacon-aire - like a millionaire but with bacon. Mmmm.  

  So drive naked and put the bacon on when you get there. Problem solved.  

  Tatas shouldn't have an apostrophe.