Yes, it does seem that a robotic sphincter would solve all your problems.  

  BOYS! Don't make me turn this internet around!  

  It's a good smell. It's the smell of technology and progress... or maybe it's just the... I'm not going to question it. It's technology and progress scratch-n-sniff.  

  It's so hot outside that there was a knock at the door and it was my front lawn wanting to come in.  

  Which is why I find myself living in Los Angeles, producing movie websites, and.. today... writing a political play about Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots. Mmmm, that's good derail.  

  This thread is all sticky... Eww!  

  (Bing Crosby sits by his fireplace in a smoking jacket with a mug of hot cider in one hand. A lit Christmas tree sits to his left.)
Bing: "Hello, friends. You know, nothing says Christmas like a giant rubber double-sided dong.  

  Oh yeah well I think you're WRONG. I bet there'll be a hard cover at $75, a fabulous gay edition bound with Dumbledore's enchanted nipple clamps at $125, and a special "I sold my soul to Satan for a bestselling children's series" edition, bound in human skin for $1255.99 (at Wal-Mart). So THERE. Nyah!  

  Bah! Nobody really worries about this kind of crap. This is a fine example of manufactured controversy; pre-packaged and sold to the most shameless news outlet.  

  Happy Birthday!

Now that LoT is three, do we need to take up a collection to by it an AP?  

  General microsite on all transportation related bonds and initiatives that are relevant to southern california.

And suck it kevy. Suck it hard and suck it long.  

  My very first Pork was around 1980 I believe.  

  ...does spraying Leo with whipped cream count as cooking ?  

  That's ok, the OED has acknowledged that whom has disappeared from spoken English.

But if you remember to use it when following a preposition ("to whom shall I deliver the letter", "before whom must I bow", "upon whom did the porn star ejaculate copiously") then you'll understand it better than 95% of the population.  

  Can't you read? He's going to put it in his sock.  

  What if I don't feel like arguing, eh? You ever think of that? Noooo...it's all about the JW Bear, isn't it? Never mind what other people want to do. Maybe I won't want to argue anymore. Maybe I just want to, like, sing or something.

You gotta problem with that, mister?






(You should- I'm a terrible singer.)  

  Then you're doing it wrong. You need to practice your vomiting skills. A well performed vomit should sound more like "hu, hu, ugh, hhhrrrrrruuuwoooosh, oh god, god dammit, hhhhrrrrrrooowooosh".  

  My pants are missing again. I think I'll just pour some more Dr. Pepper on myself and stick to the chair.  

  Another good tip is to add bacon to your bacon - a wonderful taste treat!  

  It's the steam punk internet!  

  I saw that yesterday and am much amused by it, so amused by it that I had actually printed it out to put on my cube wall when I realized I was about to become the type of person that prints out comics and puts them on my cube wall.

I don't want to be that guy so I threw it away. But I'm still amused by it.  

  I must agree. I see zero sense in making such a thing so readily available to the first feckless wanker with $200 burning a hole in his pocket.


(mine should arrive in 10-14 business days )  

  So drive naked and put the bacon on when you get there. Problem solved.  

  I'm wondering what other sort of "mageddons" we could have?

2 am on St. Patrick's Day = Barmageddon
The day everyone finally gets their just rewards = Karmageddon
When everyone and everything abides by Natural Order = Dharmageddon
The day when the world runs low on Parmesan Cheese = Parmageddon

The possibilities are endless!  

  Yep. Kind of like when the dog runs into the couch, just a little jiggle.