You don't bring an undercooked turkey to the table at Thanksgiving. If it is inedible, you finish cooking it or don't serve it at all.


After riding that ride, I would have rather not seen it at all...  

  So, is Michael J. Fox screwing sheep or not?  

  I think about shaving mine a lot. since it started slowly turning white I start to wonder whats under there.  

  Scramble and cook eggs to coincide with completion of eggs.  

  I prefer the little land poots vs one big roaring earth fart  

  The boys down under are drunk on bacon again!  

  Wow, you survived the east coast.



Oh, um, we've kinda gone all Armegeddon while you were out.  

  Coming here cold from a Disney centric site can be a bit of a culture shock. Mutual respect combined with brutal honesty can to the untrained eye look like pissy bitching.

If you have a thick hide combined with a perceptive intellect (or like me, you're just a glutton for punishment) you find a niche here and flourish. If you can't stand to have your motives questioned or your views beaten about the head with a dead fish then yeah, it's probably better you find a shallower pool to swim in.  

  We received a cast iron skillet for Hannukah.

Bacon will be had.  

  Honey, I was a FH before you were gay.  

  Dear DCL:

Enclosed please find: One (1) woman with a tangle of red hair, who answers to the luxurious and swanky name of "Not Afraid" and one (1) small cute widdle pug-dog, who sometimes answers to the name of "Thurston" but will run faster if you call him "Bacon" (hereinafter known as "Pooch").

The esteemed Mrs. Afraid suffers from a condition in which her hair grows mottled and limp, her eyes glaze over, she becomes taken with fits of excessive howling and stealing the bacon and/or Olszewski sculptures of other persons. Said condition, "Thurstonicus Missimus", cannot be cured, but the symptoms can be minimized to undetectable levels via repeated applications of saliva to the face by said Pooch.

Therefore, it is urgent and necessary that Mrs. Afraid take the Pooch, who has been certified and trained in the saliva-transfer method after months of relentless and brutal conditioning, on your sailing establishment.

If you have any questions about the above, please feel free to contact my wife, who will make you something yummy to eat until you forget the question. Thank you, and have a pleasant tour.

Love and kisses,
Dr. Kevy (or at least I played one once).  

  I have to say that the mere idea of Ms Lohan attempting to emulate the great Marilyn Monroe is patently absurd and akin to the Taco Bell chihuahua emulating Lassie.  

  Do I need to do back flips? Do I have to strip? Do I need to attach a lighted neon sign to my head? Do I have to open an all-you-can-eat bacon buffet? Do I have to juggle 20 running chainsaws? I'll do whatever it takes folks...  

  Your pants exist as cheese? Or just right now?  

  Make sure to take a dump first.  

  I'm sure Lisa will have a cucumber for me.  

  The psycho on the bus goes stab, stab, stab...  

  I love bacon, I love Mexican food. That is the problem, there is no bacon in mexican food. Not even carnitas, lots of pig in Mexican food, but still no bacon.  

  Who put the goat in there?  

  ... that boy has some balls. I mean, I could strip in front of strangers, but in front of Glenn Close? Yeeech.  

  Aren't you supposed to seek immediate health care if you experience an election lasting 4 years?  

  I am done messing with Pricks, so I will use beef.  

  Pfft... who wants to hang with decent folks?

I'm coming out to see you guys  

  I do think hockey players are studs  

  Lotteries, however, are slightly less exciting than Keno. Which is slightly less exciting than C-SPAN 3's rebroadcast of the 1984 Telecom Regulatory Commission's sub-committee hearing on whether to reserve channels 13-21 for local community access.