You don't bring an undercooked turkey to the table at Thanksgiving. If it is inedible, you finish cooking it or don't serve it at all.


After riding that ride, I would have rather not seen it at all...  

  So, is Michael J. Fox screwing sheep or not?  

  Something tells me that everyone on the lot is a character. You'll have plenty of stories to tell...  

  I think about shaving mine a lot. since it started slowly turning white I start to wonder whats under there.  

  Scramble and cook eggs to coincide with completion of eggs.  

  Why don't we just lock ourselves inside our homes, duct tape our heads to our assholes, and declare victory in the War on Terror?  

  Wow, you survived the east coast.



Oh, um, we've kinda gone all Armegeddon while you were out.  

  I had some Cherokee in me once, but we broke up.  

  .....and now we have vampiric arachnids in our midst....great.



personally, I think Im gonna go back to bed and let this weirdness tsunami subside  

  We received a cast iron skillet for Hannukah.

Bacon will be had.  

  Giraldo Riviera was in the big box in the vets office talking about ho ho ho and Kayne West's Mom's deadness (but, at least she'll look good). Fascinating stuff!  

  Do I need to do back flips? Do I have to strip? Do I need to attach a lighted neon sign to my head? Do I have to open an all-you-can-eat bacon buffet? Do I have to juggle 20 running chainsaws? I'll do whatever it takes folks...  

  Is it, in fact, possible to to disagree with a change to an attraction and not be accused of wanting Disneyland to be a museum? The word "purist" is also being used as if it's somehow a bad thing to not want parasites in one's glass of water.  

  Make sure to take a dump first.  

  Holy lord, it took 232 posts for this thread to get to the subject of tits and/or bacon?!?!?  

  Did you know that garbage disposals are not meant for grinding up small decorative coffee cups even though they fit down the drain?

I'll bet you didn't know that no one in my family has any idea what I'm talking about when I interrogated them on who broke our ding-dang-diddley disposal either.  

  Then you're doing it wrong. You need to practice your vomiting skills. A well performed vomit should sound more like "hu, hu, ugh, hhhrrrrrruuuwoooosh, oh god, god dammit, hhhhrrrrrrooowooosh".  

  If it was about passenger comfort, there would be all sorts of different fares, classes and cabins:

"Won't shut the f*ck up" class.
"Won't turn off cell phone until threatened with arrest" class.
"Insists on looking important by calling someone to say they've landed as soon as the wheels touch the ground" class.
"Last to board with a carryon that requires reshuffling of all overhead bins" class.
"Stows bunched up sweater in overhead bin on crowded flight" class.
"Blares music through headphones that I can hear three rows up" class.
"Falls asleep against window during drink orders" class. (Tap. Tap. "Excuse me, did you . . .?)

And so on. These people should all be charged extra. Or just given a good horsewhipping on the spot. Which I would pay extra to administer.  

  I am keeping my expectations low but it is a woodie after all.  

  So she bought some lube and injected it and thought that would work - and it didn't. Color me shocked.  

  My pants are missing again. I think I'll just pour some more Dr. Pepper on myself and stick to the chair.  

  Another good tip is to add bacon to your bacon - a wonderful taste treat!  

  It's the steam punk internet!  

  I saw that yesterday and am much amused by it, so amused by it that I had actually printed it out to put on my cube wall when I realized I was about to become the type of person that prints out comics and puts them on my cube wall.

I don't want to be that guy so I threw it away. But I'm still amused by it.  

  So drive naked and put the bacon on when you get there. Problem solved.