Thanks to the miracles of science, I have the sphincter of a 20 year old.  

  I'm not compensating for a small penis with a huge SUV watch.  

  I'm so un-hip, it's a wonder my bum doesn't fall off.  

  They had FIRE BREATHING DRAGONS and JET PACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

  I'd rather listen to a family of pigs being chucking into the Grand Canyon....  

  I will remember about innerSpaceman's package and sceagles sphincter, by dint of sheer repetition.  

  Meals shmeals! I want cornnuts and a suckie. Half coke, half cherry.  

  I think I am missing the third testicle that makes men crave explosions, muscle cars, and big TVs.  

  You all are old.  

  I predict sausage in your future  

  We all live in a Yellow Monorail, Yellow Monorail, Yellow Monorail...  

  To me, adding Peter Pan to It's A Small World is like giving the Mona Lisa highlights in her hair.  

  OMFG...the only thing missing is a dusting of icing sugar, and you'd have all 3 food groups - sugar, salt and fat, as discovered by most fast-food outlets.

It is rumoured that a fourth food group exists, but they haven't figured out how to get around the liquor laws yet.  

  It's all about beer, prostitution, cute puppets, the rapture, and much more.  

  You can't take it with you but you can take it with you all the way up to the exact moment when you no longer care.  

  My declration of such fallcious are the indetification of those fallacies.  

  All I know is I want a f**kin' Baked Potato...  

  WTF???

What moron would stab a dragon in the butt with a sword!

Nincompoops!  

  Oh, and it's not dorky. It's geeky. Dork is an unflattering look. Geek is a lifestyle coupled with a high IQ and a huge passion.

You're a Geek. In a good way.......  

  I feel compelled to correct them when they use mute instead of moot. "That's a mute point" they say... and I want to ask if the point was verbal before or if this is something new.  

  Look here for the raw details. The smutty comments, the Just LashPairiness of it all.

Right here. Don't touch that dial.  

  Just for kicks, I took a look at a video of Light Magic on youtube. OMG! What a piece of sh!t! Where's the acid for my eyes?!

Creepy Riverdance fairies!  

  However, I don't think (and maybe I'm insane)  

  If you put your laptop in the dishwasher, I guarantee you all the malware on that computer won't bother you any more.  

  Superstar Limo at least had its awfulness going for it as a point of interest.