Thanks to the miracles of science, I have the sphincter of a 20 year old.  

  I'm not compensating for a small penis with a huge SUV watch.  

  I'm so un-hip, it's a wonder my bum doesn't fall off.  

  You don't bring an undercooked turkey to the table at Thanksgiving. If it is inedible, you finish cooking it or don't serve it at all.


After riding that ride, I would have rather not seen it at all...  

  I will remember about innerSpaceman's package and sceagles sphincter, by dint of sheer repetition.  

  I think I am missing the third testicle that makes men crave explosions, muscle cars, and big TVs.  

  So, is Michael J. Fox screwing sheep or not?  

  I predict sausage in your future  

  Something tells me that everyone on the lot is a character. You'll have plenty of stories to tell...  

  I think about shaving mine a lot. since it started slowly turning white I start to wonder whats under there.  

  Scramble and cook eggs to coincide with completion of eggs.  

  Wow, you survived the east coast.



Oh, um, we've kinda gone all Armegeddon while you were out.  

  We received a cast iron skillet for Hannukah.

Bacon will be had.  

  Do I need to do back flips? Do I have to strip? Do I need to attach a lighted neon sign to my head? Do I have to open an all-you-can-eat bacon buffet? Do I have to juggle 20 running chainsaws? I'll do whatever it takes folks...  

  Make sure to take a dump first.  

  Bacon is gods way of making up for the whole garden of eden incident...  

  Can't sleep. Avatars will eat me.  

  I hope the quote comes with a secret decoder ring.  

  The psycho on the bus goes stab, stab, stab...  

  I love bacon, I love Mexican food. That is the problem, there is no bacon in mexican food. Not even carnitas, lots of pig in Mexican food, but still no bacon.  

  ... that boy has some balls. I mean, I could strip in front of strangers, but in front of Glenn Close? Yeeech.  

  Hugs to the supersize dildo lubed with Not Afraid's snot.  

  Pfft... who wants to hang with decent folks?

I'm coming out to see you guys  

  However, I don't think (and maybe I'm insane)  

  How can we call canned meat spam when it doesn't contain any unwanted commercial email?