Thanks to the miracles of science, I have the sphincter of a 20 year old.  

  I'm not compensating for a small penis with a huge SUV watch.  

  I'm so un-hip, it's a wonder my bum doesn't fall off.  

  They had FIRE BREATHING DRAGONS and JET PACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

  I will remember about innerSpaceman's package and sceagles sphincter, by dint of sheer repetition.  

  The best part about Rockit Space Mountain is that it eventually ends.  

  Meals shmeals! I want cornnuts and a suckie. Half coke, half cherry.  

  I think I am missing the third testicle that makes men crave explosions, muscle cars, and big TVs.  

  You all are old.  

  I predict sausage in your future  

  We all live in a Yellow Monorail, Yellow Monorail, Yellow Monorail...  

  OMFG...the only thing missing is a dusting of icing sugar, and you'd have all 3 food groups - sugar, salt and fat, as discovered by most fast-food outlets.

It is rumoured that a fourth food group exists, but they haven't figured out how to get around the liquor laws yet.  

  Proper punctuation and capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse..  

  This suggests I have the power of taxation.  

  Are you insinuating that there is a possibility that some of my posts have been in some way suggestive?!?


 

  (in reference to his grasp of Spanish)

It's weird that I know how to say "vaginally", but not "arm".  

  Hugs to the supersize dildo lubed with Not Afraid's snot.  

  I missed hernias, cognac, and aliens? Damn it!  

  Dude, there was NO BACON in that dream. How could it possibly be labeled "best dream evar" without some freaking bacon in it?  

  soo...if you ever want to try something to really make your mouth tingle and give yourself a really low opinion of yourself, try what I just did...

make a nice cup of tea
light a scented xmas candle
start net surfing in earnest
then, while paying no attention to what youre doing, sip a bit of the melted wax from the lit candle you set too close to your cup of tea
afterward, spend an hour or so trying to get that taste out of your mouth and peeling the wax from your skin and combing it out of your beard (if any).

good times....


PS: also, be sure and write down the new curse words you discover in the process  

  Yes, but I don't want to meet random people, I want to meet LoTters. You know, people I can trust to construct complete sentences that don't consist entirely of "me too!!!!  

  However, I don't think (and maybe I'm insane)  

  am I seriously joining a discussion of the real-world-logistics of creating a boatplanecar?  

  Predicting a 4-5 magnitude earthquake is not quite like saying it will be sunny here in LA, but close.  

  Any continuation of the line of thought is going to end up using "love tunnel," and awkward first person exposition, I just know it.