Thanks to the miracles of science, I have the sphincter of a 20 year old.  

  Congrats on your first time with the shaft!  

  I'm not compensating for a small penis with a huge SUV watch.  

  I'm so un-hip, it's a wonder my bum doesn't fall off.  

  I'd rather listen to a family of pigs being chucking into the Grand Canyon....  

  Yes, it does seem that a robotic sphincter would solve all your problems.  

  I think I am missing the third testicle that makes men crave explosions, muscle cars, and big TVs.  

  Woooo that looks really gay. I'm in!  

  Wow that sounds like a lot of fun! Except for the no-pants part.  

  When we went house-hunting last weekend, we visited Disney's Hyperion Studios, which was renamed "Gelson's". Like Disney-MGM, it no longer has a working animation team on site.  

  MmMMmM. Smoked pork roast, cooked by the essence of flaming tragedy.  

  Which is why I find myself living in Los Angeles, producing movie websites, and.. today... writing a political play about Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots. Mmmm, that's good derail.  

  (Bing Crosby sits by his fireplace in a smoking jacket with a mug of hot cider in one hand. A lit Christmas tree sits to his left.)
Bing: "Hello, friends. You know, nothing says Christmas like a giant rubber double-sided dong.  

  Eating the Disneyland mapbook ranks higher than Village Haus.  

  I like decapitation. If you decapitate someone, you really meant it. That's impressive.  

  I can see it now ...LoT starts a business selling hippopotamus doodie pour le jardin, all proceeds to go to the LoT Fluevogs Fund.  

  [QUOTE=Not Afraid]GOD DAMN YOU JOHN![/QUOTE]

My work here is done...  

  Hugs to the supersize dildo lubed with Not Afraid's snot.  

  Why must god be a man?
What if god was one of us?
Does god like bacon?
How about shiny things?  

  Please, don't question your gods, it reduces the beneficence level.  

  However, I don't think (and maybe I'm insane)  

  Since I don't have a hacking felony I'll have to get the degree.  

  You can play with mine.  

  Dammit Lisa! Stop going to the bathroom!  

  How is it that at night, no matter how exhausted I am, if it's over 77 degrees I am unable to sleep lying in a comfy bed with the lights out. Yet in the middle of the day, no matter how rested and caffeinated I am, if it's over 77 degrees I'm unable to stay awake in an uncomfortable conference room chair with florescent lights in my face?

Maybe I should redesign my bedroom.