My sphincter is doing quite well, thank you.  

  New MousePod coming soon. - me  

  It's not often we get to take a drunk virgin for a ride.  

  For the wrong person dying, Denis Leary used (and probably still does) to have a bit about that. John Lennon taking the bullet when Yoko Ono was a foot away. Some other beloved artist overdosing just walking into a room with cocaine while you could put Motley Crue in a vault stacked to the ceiling with crack and they walk out the next day leaving it clean.  

  I know that I wake up each and every day thankful that Paris Hilton's beauty is out there, making up for my own aesthetic failures. She adds so much to my hum-drum existence. Why, without her influence I might never have seen so much starlet hooha. And without starlet hooha, is life really worth living?  

  you my dear, need to chase some of your coworkers around with a claw hammer, throw several pounds of OPC (other peoples crap) out of that open window and have a latte' with your feet up.  

  We loved bacon before bacon was a thing. We will continue loving bacon and inwardly smirk at the trendy bacon poseurs. And in the end, we will continue to have our bacon.  

  Gollum: The Missing Years

The Orc Who Saved Christmas

Merry and Pippin Go to White Castle

Aragorn vs Predator

Galadriel Takes it Off

Treebeard's Iconvenient Truth

The Eye of Laura Mars, starring Sauron

Trading Places with Gandalf and Dumbledore  

  scaeagles has some good points.  

  I loved Leo, I just can't help myself.  

  Damn you demon Scaeagles  

  Frankly, Palin isn't anywhere near as scary as Dick Cheney, nor is she likely to have as much effect on the political process as he has had. Her mouth only moves when the hand up her back tells her to talk. The problem is, the hand up her back is the same hand up Bush's back. I rather boggled a bit when she made that comment about declaring war on Russia...with what and from where? There's a brownie troupe in Torrance that hasn't been deployed yet.  

  I'm usually pretty ecumenical about my chocolate; but when you introduce the Melamine Roulette angle, I'm tempted to swear off all but the really, really good stuff.  

  For the workers to own the means of production in this country, the revolution would have to occur in China.  

  Ladies and gentlemen... I'm please to announce that the light at the end of the tunnel has been switched back on.  

  Here's something for the Quotes: I agree with Scaeagles.  

  I'd rather lie awake than drink chamomile.  

  I successfully warded off Easter here. According to a commercial that just played on the radio it isn't Easter without a ham on the table.

I wasn't aware that Jesus had taken such firm measure to exclude Jews and Muslims from the day. He's apparently quite the ball buster.

I guess vegan Christians are just collateral damage (besides, they probably smell funny and Jesus probably has a really sensitive sense of smell).  

  To the few men who are not attracted to me: whatever. I'm busy with someone else, anyway.

Your pal,
3894 .... or Helen  

  If it weren't complete social taboo, and if it could be acquired ethically, and I'd if it weren't for an extremely heightened risk of food-borne illness, I'd be willing to try haunch o' human.  

  Revenge. I plots it.  

  I will be cancer free and not have to under go any radiation or chemo. I also will never get breast cancer again.

Huzzah!  

  Srsly. These days, I'm alllll about the horse estrogen.  

  Sending Positive Pussy Mojo to Kevy.  

  Why would you stifle your poor child's imagination by rigidly insisting that he tether himself carseatlike to a world in which owls don't say moo? What kind of grey flannel suit pre-school are you sending him to?