I think my socks were literally blown off.  

  For the wrong person dying, Denis Leary used (and probably still does) to have a bit about that. John Lennon taking the bullet when Yoko Ono was a foot away. Some other beloved artist overdosing just walking into a room with cocaine while you could put Motley Crue in a vault stacked to the ceiling with crack and they walk out the next day leaving it clean.  

  Gemini Cricket has been hooking up with some sleazebag, and he's been getting his brains ******ed out on a regular, but degrading, basis for the past couple of weeks.


He'll soon tire of being treated like a dish rag, and he'll come crawling back to the LoT ... mark my words.  

  I know that I wake up each and every day thankful that Paris Hilton's beauty is out there, making up for my own aesthetic failures. She adds so much to my hum-drum existence. Why, without her influence I might never have seen so much starlet hooha. And without starlet hooha, is life really worth living?  

  Silly child - bacon does not come to those who wait - rather it must be plucked in stealthy conspiracy as it drips cool and crispy fresh out out of the frying pan.  

  [QUOTE=Chernabog;159543]I lost my virginity the other week...[/QUOTE]

Oh, I found it found cowering behind the couch. Claimed it hadn't seen you in years, I let it go outside (catch and release) with some condoms, which it threw in my face. Nasty little thing.  

  [quote=Cadaverous Pallor;160637]*licks pencil*

"Brains...is last...on list." Got it.[/quote]
Well, I didn't mean to rank them, but I can't be as tricky as I want to be if he's too brainy.

And, of course, there's a myriad of other qualities that I'm looking for that didn't even make the list. I mean, I didn't even list "enormous schwanzstucker" but, hey, that would be nice.
 

  No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.  

  [...] One commentator posted: “Oh, who cares? The whole bloody lot of them were gay as far I’m concerned. All those hours of movies and not a single car chase, shootout or kung fu fight.”  

  BlueErica, Euro and I are all sitting in our living room IMing with each other.  

  LongDongRuPaulRonJonJeremy....isn't he a drag queen porn star who is also a hair dresser currently involved in a law suit because he set it and forgot it?  

  Suckfest 2007 can draw to a close with fervent rapidity in my opinion. A year mired in crushing heartache, unpleasant surprises, half and mis-truths, pain (intentionally inflicted and otherwise), realizations of massive misconceptions and naivety on my part, resulting divisions (some imaginary, some not), career dissatisfaction, eye-opening awareness of a plethora of taradiddles that called to question years of pleasant comfortable certainties, panicked evacuations, subsequent fears, and ashy unpleasantness have made for an emotional wreckage that could have broken me completely in two.  

  [quote=Snowflake;184507]Crispy lardons of bacon, smothered in a parmasan cream sauce over butternut squash gnocchi would be my choice.[/quote]Oh my...that description gave ME a lardon.  

  We loved bacon before bacon was a thing. We will continue loving bacon and inwardly smirk at the trendy bacon poseurs. And in the end, we will continue to have our bacon.  

  Gollum: The Missing Years

The Orc Who Saved Christmas

Merry and Pippin Go to White Castle

Aragorn vs Predator

Galadriel Takes it Off

Treebeard's Iconvenient Truth

The Eye of Laura Mars, starring Sauron

Trading Places with Gandalf and Dumbledore  

  Oh dear sweet zombie jesus...... hell fvckin' no. Not another one. I'd rather have my pubic hair pulled out one by one with tweezers than sign up for anything twitter-esque.  

  I'm all class, baby!  

  [size=3]
Excuse me while I run to the nearest hilltop, shove Maria Von-Trapp out of my freakin' way and shout "I'm a Non-Theist" until it echoes from every canyon and rattles every tole-painted cowbell in the valley.

Wow, what a relief, now I have a label, I am validated - complete.


Note: How Stoat chooses to treat people has nothing to do with his religion or lack of it...he knows they could one day judge him, and he is entirely comfortable with that possibility.  

  Why? Are you trying to determine my porn name?

Because I can tell you that is Hinkie Willowbrae

I can't make this stuff up I'm tellin' ya!  

  Also, remember to take your allergy medicine before entering the cat zone.  

  Isn't there a M Night Shamalamadingdong film that fits in this genre?  

  I scored another kilo of bacon from my meat dealer".  

  mousepod is like the evil twin movie-collecting brother who warns me of what I would have become had not the Ghosts of Christmas Thrift (somewhat) interceded.  

  Lindyhop mentioned feeling it on her twitter. I didn't feel a thing.  

  Noobs is what I call my new boobs.