Sheep are actually several million years old. In fact, science tells us female dinosaurs used them as tampons.  

  The worst thing that could happen is you die. And I've never heard any dead people complain so I just assume it isn't that bad. Sure, some people complain about the dying part, but they're just whiners.  

  I won a major award!
I win!
 

  When are we beating up the Jehovah' Witness' with bats??  

  You sound like my wife: always wanting more inches.

Oh, wait...  

  Dear Mr. Bopper:

We understand that due to unfortunate circumstances you were denied entry into the "Bitter East Coast" club. That was really too bad.

However we think there might be room for you in another organization:

The Flaming Heterosexuals. We got it, we flaunt it. We have many great events! You can join us for Straight Day at Disneyland, we have 364 of them each year (365 on leap years). We'll save you a chair and a Playboy at our next meeting.  

  It is a sin to violate gods will. It is obvious that the Camp Chef Portable Oven from REI is an abomination in g-d's eyes.  

  I let one slip in the backdoor that time  

  A few folks around here need to hand in their Geek license.  

  Hideo ho!

Margarita,s were really godddds!  

  The dumb-stick always makes the decisions.  

  Goodness, Kevy.. That's a big one.  

  goodness only knows where else my ass is.  

  but the IHOP employees get REALLY mad when you puke on their front window... or so I've heard  

  Yes, which compelled me to put my head in his crotch each time I pulled... And, I pulled it a lot that night.  

  Next time my mom visits, I'm going to cut the cheese.  

  No, you get to vibrate all weekend, doofus.  

  Here are some nice photos to get you excited.  

  My squattin' muscles will be very relieved.  

  I am morally pure  

  I left pubic hairs on the coke of the lady in the cube next to me  

  Like I said, obviously you disagree and we can never know who's right. Though I am.  

  I don't think (and maybe I'm insane)  

  I use the quotes list to remind my self what a brilliant person I am.  

  Aw, I have to spread it before giving it to Euro :P