Sheep are actually several million years old. In fact, science tells us female dinosaurs used them as tampons.  

  I can't quote enough of you!  

  YAY FIRE!  

  Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out alive.  

  Then you're just not hungry enough. There are children wearing 'Patriots 19-0' t-shirts who would kill for some frozen oatmeal rocks.  

  BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN....Here is a Bulletin...The sun did not come up this morning, huge cracks have appeared in the earth's surface, and big rocks are falling out of the sky! Details 25 minutes from now on ACTION CENTRAL NEWS SCAN!  

  Dude, if you've been fvcking donuts, we need to get you a woman, pronto...  

  (Ba-Da-Da-Da-DA-Da)
You Say It's Your Birthday!
(Ba-Da-Da-Da-DA-Da)
Better You Then Me, Dude!
(Ba-Da-Da-Da-DA-Da)
This is totally my least favorite Beatles song!
(Ba-Da-Da-Da-DA-Da)
I hate it when people sing it, so, terribly sorry  

  Baseball is boring. The players wear entirely too much clothing.  

  If I am in international waters on a pleasure cruise I expect to be offered gambling, prostitution, otherwise illicit drugs, and the meat of endangered animals.  

  I let one slip in the backdoor that time  

  The dumb-stick always makes the decisions.  

  Goodness, Kevy.. That's a big one.  

  goodness only knows where else my ass is.  

  but the IHOP employees get REALLY mad when you puke on their front window... or so I've heard  

  Yes, which compelled me to put my head in his crotch each time I pulled... And, I pulled it a lot that night.  

  Next time my mom visits, I'm going to cut the cheese.  

  Here are some nice photos to get you excited.  

  My squattin' muscles will be very relieved.  

  I am morally pure  

  I left pubic hairs on the coke of the lady in the cube next to me  

  Like I said, obviously you disagree and we can never know who's right. Though I am.  

  I don't think (and maybe I'm insane)  

  I use the quotes list to remind my self what a brilliant person I am.  

  Aw, I have to spread it before giving it to Euro :P