If you guys move in over The Lubery, I'm going to laugh my ass off.  

  Unless a pig died for my gastronomic indulgence, it ain't bacon.  

  Sooo...

What are you doing right now?  

  How did a 17-year-old Jewish girl come to say, "Yeah, that Newt Gingrich. He speaks for me."  

  I don't know, perhaps I'm old fashioned, but if I'm going to masturbate, I'm not going to hop in the car and head to the grocery store to thump some melons. Guess I just prefer porn over produce.  

  As a Jewish man, I favor the spandex undergarment because it allows me to wear tallit to the pool.  

  Ugh. I gave my dinner oral.  

  Whenever I make a sandwich at home and put lettuce on it, I feel like I'm stealing food from the rabbit.  

  I wonder when Nietzsche will start appearing in my add - offering to add inches with his Will to Power technique?  

  Actually - it's the Russian Robots that offend us, if a human Russian wished to join us, we'd break out the Stoli  

  I'll be spending my final days on the isle of Waponi Wu where I will party for several days and then throw myself into a volcano. Orange soda will be involved...  

  I am similarly agnostic about whether there are invisible phase-shifted evil robots in my bedroom closet just waiting for me to go to sleep tonight so that they could kill me.  

  I'm spending time discovering me, and you just can't find that in a lipgloss wand.  

  He brought prostitution to it's knees, one hooker at a time.  

  Spitzer? I hardly know her.  

  No more chicken, no more cow,
Feed me friggin' bacon now!  

  We've had a little conversation here, in the virtual world, that may come up in actual face-to-face conversation the next time we're at a LoT meet. In one thread we're talking about our high school experiences, in another, our political feelings, and in a third, what songs make us happy. And, of course, bacon.  

  I am fairly certain that it is against the Geneva convention to confine someone to a hospital bed and not provide internet access.  

  Remember to laugh. I hope that at the end of my life, that's the wisdom I have to offer.  

  You know, I think we need to propose a law that forbids anyone other than Catholics from using the word "prayer". After all, the word entered the English language from French at the beginning of the 14th century, and at that time Catholicism would have been the predominant religion, so clearly the word was never intended to apply to anything other than Catholic prayer.  

  ...a disquieting metamorphosis as my body becomes a baby machine.  

  At first I thought the guy was all business, but when he turned around, I realized he came to PARTY!  

  If a guy plays QB at Notre Dame and can walk and chew gum at the same time, Superstar!  

  I like my asparagus like I like my men: Tender but firm, and wrapped in bacon.  

  From my great aunt: Only boring people get bored.