I came THAT close to messing my pants...  

  If you guys move in over The Lubery, I'm going to laugh my ass off.  

  Unless a pig died for my gastronomic indulgence, it ain't bacon.  

  Sooo...

What are you doing right now?  

  How did a 17-year-old Jewish girl come to say, "Yeah, that Newt Gingrich. He speaks for me."  

  As a Jewish man, I favor the spandex undergarment because it allows me to wear tallit to the pool.  

  Ugh. I gave my dinner oral.  

  Whenever I make a sandwich at home and put lettuce on it, I feel like I'm stealing food from the rabbit.  

  Actually - it's the Russian Robots that offend us, if a human Russian wished to join us, we'd break out the Stoli  

  I'll be spending my final days on the isle of Waponi Wu where I will party for several days and then throw myself into a volcano. Orange soda will be involved...  

  The dance card here isn’t full, but it helps to not be a wallflower.  

  I am similarly agnostic about whether there are invisible phase-shifted evil robots in my bedroom closet just waiting for me to go to sleep tonight so that they could kill me.  

  I'm spending time discovering me, and you just can't find that in a lipgloss wand.  

  He brought prostitution to it's knees, one hooker at a time.  

  Spitzer? I hardly know her.  

  No more chicken, no more cow,
Feed me friggin' bacon now!  

  We've had a little conversation here, in the virtual world, that may come up in actual face-to-face conversation the next time we're at a LoT meet. In one thread we're talking about our high school experiences, in another, our political feelings, and in a third, what songs make us happy. And, of course, bacon.  

  I am fairly certain that it is against the Geneva convention to confine someone to a hospital bed and not provide internet access.  

  You know, I think we need to propose a law that forbids anyone other than Catholics from using the word "prayer". After all, the word entered the English language from French at the beginning of the 14th century, and at that time Catholicism would have been the predominant religion, so clearly the word was never intended to apply to anything other than Catholic prayer.  

  ...a disquieting metamorphosis as my body becomes a baby machine.  

  At first I thought the guy was all business, but when he turned around, I realized he came to PARTY!  

  If a guy plays QB at Notre Dame and can walk and chew gum at the same time, Superstar!  

  From my great aunt: Only boring people get bored.  

  Success and failure are not defined by how many mistakes you made or didn't make, how many good or bad decisions you might have made, or how often you've been right or wrong. They are defined by how you handle the mistakes, the bad decisions, and being wrong. Success isn't perfection, success is treating every step as a new opportunity to get it right, no matter how many steps you've gotten wrong up to that point.  

  Nipples can wait. (It's the sequel to Heaven Can Wait.)