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shall we define this phobia? Hatred of the BEHAVIOR or the PEOPLE??? For political and socieological purposes it is used to beat people over the head and accuse them of hating the people- not the behavior- therein lies my quibble with it. I do not have to accept and like everything someone does to like the person.
I suspect that where we lose each other is that I can see the difference, whereas being gay defines who you are- and so in your mind, someone disliking one seems to naturally lead to them disliking the other-
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