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"The university apologizes for the inconvenience, but as I'm sure you are aware, funding is an increasing issue in the educational world. We have negotiated a deal with the above mentioned advertisers in an attempt to offset skyrocketing costs and falling budgets. To maximize the benefit to the university, we have provided the advertisers with a targeted list of staff members (pardon the pun) that, by our data, are in most need of these products. We understand that many people are perfectly happy with their god-given "attributes", and we certainly admire your "buck the trend" attitude of refusing to cave to the social pressure to "be as big as everyone else." Unfortunately, our contract demands that we continue to allow our advertisers access to their target audience.
We hope you understand, and try to have a Merry Christmas anyway."
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'He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me.'
-TJ
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