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When I was just a wee little lad, full of traumas and tears
My father bought a toy for me confirming all my fears
A horror to behold it was, and it filled me full of dread
And the moment I laid eyes on it I knew he wished me dead
I went
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OUCH!! when it cut and YAAHH!! when it shocked
And GGAUGGH!! when it caught in my throat
I merely went and picked it up and that was all she wrote
The Consumer Product Safety Board said this toy takes many lives
With lead paint and electrical hazards and edges just like knives
But my daddy wants no sissy son and he says to "Be a Man"
So I went and picked it up again and it sliced off both of my hands
I went
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I first ran left and then ran right then hid under a chair
But the toy pursued relentlessly till it found me hiding there
I reached for the switch to turn it off but my skin touched a hot bare wire
And a thousand volts shot up my arm and set my clothes on fire
I went
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Well somehow I survived those years now I have my own little boy
And yesterday I gave to him my dangerous little toy
His eyes nearly popped right out of his head; in fact they did, and now he's blind
Cause he didn't see those two sharp spikes that were sticking up from behind
Now he goes
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Dan Hart
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