Quote:
Originally Posted by Nephythys
I support and love my son deeply- I encourage him all the time- he hates school. He has NO desire to succeed and learn.
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I'm glad that you realize that I wasn't trying to insult you. Hating school, and having no desire to succeed and learn are two very different things. School is a destructive environment for many kids. There is no such thing as an ideal situation, or a perfect way to parent, so perhaps we should leave this particular area of discussion.
As for the rest of the competition comments, I'm not against competition. I do find it unnecessary for small kids. If a kid is of an age where they can understand winning and losing and choose to participate in a sport then I think that is great. Sports are lots of fun. I'm not sure why a four year old should be pushed to compete though. It seems odd that competition plays such a small part of adult life (personal competition, not business competition) yet we try and put our kids in front of it constantly.
Life throws so many disappointments at us constantly. I find it pointless to set kids up for those sorts of things. They happen naturally. You may as well say, "Kids at school are going to make fun of your big nose anyways. I'm going to start making fun of it myself now so that it isn't a big deal when the other kids do it."
There WILL be times when the ice cream truck passes by before you can get your money out, or when another kid has something that they don't, it just happens. Kids don't have to be taught how to handle disappointment by us setting it up for them. They'll have more than enough opportunities by just growing up.
I probably should have learned by now not to get involved in discussions on kids with people whose thoughts are so entrenched in mainstream thinking. (I don't mean that as an insult, but none of you seem to be willing to think outside the box.) In my particular circle of parenting friends, none of us punish or reward or engage our kids in competition (they're all only three or four) and they are all excellent kids that are faced with disappointment and handle it pretty gracefully.
I've known many teens and adults who are sore losers yet they've been competing all their lives.