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RStar: as far as what to say to Jean... just say you're there for her. And call her in a few weeks and say it again, when all the hubbub quiets down and everyone's done making their "obligatory" calls, and she's no longer busy with the "business" of death. That's when she'll really really need you.
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"It is useless for sheep to pass a resolution in favor of vegetarianism while wolves remain of a different opinion." -- William Randolph Inge
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