[mousepod]

I'm sorry if my sole negative response to the movie (well, until iSm chimed in) merits a defense, but perhaps I need to better explain why I think that Tranformers is one of the most offensive movies I've seen recently.

Firstly, I'm completely aware of the storyline of the Transformers from the 80s, thank you very much. I know that the Decepticons are really really bad and the Autobots are really really good. I never called myself a fan of the original series, because I was acutely aware of the fact that the show was nothing more than a long-form toy commercial that utilized sub-standard animation and mediocre writing. I thought that Transformers, along with G.I. Joe, He-Man, She-Ra et al were insults to the intelligence of their target audience.

However, I think that the most detestable aspects of the movie have to do with the places that plot diverges from that of the original cartoon. The additions to the story take the movie out of 'escapist blockbuster' territory and instead place it firmly into paranoid right-wing nightmare territory, at least for me.

Lots of spoilers follow:

- The movie begins with a Decepticon attack on a US military base in Qatar. The 2003 invasion of Iraq began with attacks from Qatar-based US military. Are the Decepticons agents of Iraq? Al Qaeda? Of course not. They're just evil-doers.

- Unlike the animated series, there are no evil humans siding with the Decepticons. The only thing close to evil are the agents of the secret US organization "Sector 7," and the only thing that makes them "evil" is that they're arrogant (but it's OK, because the snarkiest one get urinated on by an Autobot, thereby receiving his comeuppance - boyoboy is Michael Bay funny). However, we're constantly reminded that we're a country prepared for war. Our military secrets are vital. Our war machines are sleek, elegant and deadly. The Decepticon attack momentarily almost triggers a world war and the reality that war between people is a real thing is never far from the surface.

- The death of innocents is wholesale, casual, and basically inconsequential. The US government makes a conscious decision to bring the cube to a city. This is the only reason that the final battle takes place among so many people. Transformers smash into cars, buildings and people. Deaths aren't acknowledged or mourned, it's just shiny robots and stuff blowing up. In a world where our government constantly reminds us of the evils of terrorism by pointing to two US buildings that were destroyed, it's hard not to think of the senseless loss of lives as Megatron and Optimus Prime smash through one occupied building after another.

What's despicable about Transformers is that it's still just a vehicle (pardon the pun) to sell merchandise. But by upping the ante, it shows cavalier disregard for the intelligence of a whole new audience.

I can't wait for the two sequels that have been given the green light. Or the Voltron movie. Or Masters of the Universe.