[Gn2Dlnd]

Hmm.

I've sort of been treading lightly around the board since the "pancake" incident. I had no idea this thread existed until the Chernamate asked me my opinion on it. I have to say, I enjoy the irony inherent in the OP. I don't know that I've seen Ism (even THAT'S funny!) sober on more than a couple of occasions. I think what you've written here is very thoughtful, clearly you've done quite a bit of mental reflection on the question of your own potential addictions.

I think that most drugs should be legalized. I would hope that social acceptance and education would lessen the desire for and availablity of some of the more devastating drugs, crystal meth in particular.

I've always enjoyed Penn and Teller, until I sat through their BS episode on AA. At no time has that organization gone out of its way to convert anyone who didn't want what it had to offer. When someone receives a "nudge from the judge" to attend AA meetings, they aren't required to participate in any way. They're simply there to get their court card signed. What is it, 9 meetings? 10 Meetings? Pffft. If, during their time there, they gain some education on the devastation drinking has caused in other people's lives, they may never become the type of problem drinker that ends up in AA. AA does not accept funding from outside sources, no one's tax dollar has ever gone into AA's coffers. AA doesn't recruit, it is a resource available to anyone who needs or wants it. Members are free to come and go as they please. No one, absolutely no one, has the right to question another member's right to be in an AA meeting. AA doesn't put out political screeds, exhorting its members to vote this way or that, doesn't put its name behind sanctioned dry-out clinics, and doesn't collect any sort of membership fees. All-in-all, it is as disorganized an organization as has ever existed. Frankly, I'm surprised that AA is able to collect any statistics at all. Thousands of meetings are off the AA radar, as each meeting runs itself as its own members see fit. I once heard someone say, "Call it brainwashing if you will, but what better brains to wash?"

Many of you know that it's been many years since my last drink or drug. Trust me, if my life was in any way manageable while still drinking, I never would have given it up. I love a gin and tonic. I love a long island iced tea. I love sparking up a doob.

I don't love not having a driver's license. I don't love stealing out of your cash register. I don't love seeing my boyfriend arrested in my apartment for stealing the neighbor's VCR. I don't love seeing him die of his addictions. I don't love that I miss him so much that I'm sobbing as I type this.

My life is better sober. My life is productive sober. My life has potential sober. Drinking and using, I lose my business, I lose my apartment, I lose my self-esteem. I try to have sex with your boyfriend and I become an unlikeable prick. To paraphrase, in exchange for putting aside the drink and drugs, even if it's for just one day, I have received the vast potential of the rest of my life.