Quote:
Originally Posted by Ponine
But I cannot tell any one how to recover from their adiction, nor can I ask or prod anyone to.
How am I to know they wont think exactly what I did? That I am the one saying they are ill, or an addict, when they dont think they are.
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You can't tell them how to recover, but you CAN set boundaries and limits to what type of behavior you will accept from the addict. I think that is where Alanon tries to help. I don't know much about alanon. I did go to a women's retreat one time with both AA and Alanon women and I wanted to slap 90% the Alanon people - bunch of whiners. But, setting boundaries ad limits hasn't been one of my bigger problems in 25 years or so.
I think all of the programs are about responsibility. What you are responsible for and what you are not. Somehow our culture has a pretty messed up sense of that that comes with a lot of guilt. So, people take on the responsibility for stuff that doesn't really belong to them. The "anonymous" programs tend to help straighten that out.
But, some people LIKE to stew in their shyt. It may be bad, but it is comfortable. And, co-dependent, alcoholic, addict, whatever - you have to get tired of where you are at and be willing to change. No one can help you if you're not willing to accept help.