And now:
My Hogwarts Homo Schoolboy Crushes
My first Hogwarts Homo Crush lasted for two movies, and I daresay would still be continuing if he hadn’t graduated. But the object of my lustful affections for both
The Sorcerer’s Stone and
The Chamber of Secrets was none other than Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, Oliver Wood.
Oi, that face! That accent! Not to mention the implied delights of Mr. Wood’s, um, broomstick - by virtue of his last name. And lest you think that’s just silly because it’s just a fanciful Rowling name ... let me remind you that the actor’s name was, astoundingly, Jack BIGGERSTAFF.
Oh my!
For
Prisoner of Azkaban, I formed a much more healthy and wholesome crush on Harry Potter himself. (Well, as healthy and wholesome as a crush on a 14-year old boy can be). Daniel Radcliffe blossomed into quite the cutie ... and it felt proper for once to have a crush on the hero of the series. (Hey, he’d be legal in England in just two years!)
In
Goblet of Fire, the undeniable hotties were George and Fred, the Weasley twins. I didn’t have as strong a thing for these playful boys as I’d had for Potter and Wood, but something about the devilishness and hot-stuff good looks proved irresistible to many more than me alone.
Now that
Order of the Phoenix has arrived, I’m aghast that my crush on Weasleys continues ... but this time it’s (gulp) Ron Weasley that I find unbelievably hot ... and I’m very bothered by that. Ron Weasley is supposed to be a gawky, dork of a sidekick. But I’m afraid he’s gone and eclipsed Harry Potter in the hotness department, and is now a fitting object of affection for the lovely Miss Emma Watson as Hermoine Granger ... if she can pry my hands off him!
What a surprising and disturbing revelation the teenage Ronald Weasley has become. That winning smile, those sparkling eyes, that wry delivery of subtle charm. Oh boy, I’ve got it bad. But why? Why!??! Ronald Weasley??!!
Oh no! The shame, the shame! I’m doomed.