Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex
After long experience that I generally end up forgetting about when it would most help me, I'd say the answer is because when most people ask for help or advice they don't really want help or advice. They want sympathy or reassurance.
(And you realize the nature of your question means you can't argue with any answers?)
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A lesson I have actually learned. Sometimes, what I do instead is ask questions. I've learned to be careful in making sure my questions aren't too leading to any conclusion. I find that once people can have the stuff in their subconscious brought into their conscious (I know, so Freudian), it really does go a long way in others solving their own problems, finding their own support or even changing their mind. I try to do that while remaining supportive.
Because, yeah, most people really don't want to get advice. It's why few people will ever hear me ask for advice. I only ask when I really need it. If I need to vent, I spell it out and let them know that I just need to get it out. What's irritating is when I don't want advice, specifically request that none be given, and then hear it anyway. But, I guess I have to recognize that by even venting - I am inviting (in a way) anything that might come.
But that's why few people ever hear me vent and even fewer are sought out by me for advice.
ETA: Sorry if this is disjointed or not making much sense. I'm in class and being bad on teh intrawebs.