Since pets can't tell us exactly what's wrong (why can't they learn English?), I've found that many vets - even really good ones - will lay out the worst case scenario from the get-go. I admit that I find it very frustrating, but I'm at the point now where I can deal. We finally went through with a not-cheap diagnostic procedure to look the heart of Bob (our 11-year-old chihuahua) because of a murmur they detected. He's now on very inexpensive pills ($6/month) to take care of the problem.
We're thinking of you and Barnum and hoping for the best. Thanks for keeping us posted.
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