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I'm having a hard time not quoting the entirety of Treehouse of Horror V. And I'm not even much of a quoter. But you start with one line... and the next follows and it's a gem... and the next...
So. Some highlights.
...
WILLY
Boy...you read my thoughts! You've got the Shinning.
BART
You mean "Shining."
WILLY
Shh! You want to get sued? Now look, boy. If your Dad goes gaga, you just use that...shin of yours to call me and I'll come a running. But don't be reading my mind between four and five. That's Willy's time!
...
(Homer chops through a door)
HOMER
Heeeere's Johnny!
(But nobody's there.)
D'oh!
(Homer chops through another door)
HOMER
Daaavid Letterman!
ABE
Hi David, I'm Grampa.
HOMER
D'oh!
(Homer chops through a third door)
HOMER
I'm Mike Wallace, I'm Morley Safer, and I'm Ed Bradley. All this and Andy Rooney tonight on "60 Minutes!"
FAMILY
Aaaaah!
...
HOMER
Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover. Urge to kill...fading...fading...fading -- rising! Fading... fading. Come, family. Sit in the snow with Daddy and let us all bask in television's warm glowing warming glow.
TV
Live, from Broadway, it's the Tony Awards!
FROZEN BART
Homer...change channel!
HOMER
Can't! Frozen! Urge to kill...rising...
...
HOMER
As long as I stand perfectly still and don't touch anything, I won't destroy the future. Stupid bug! You go squish now!
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MOE
It's not so bad, Homer. They...go in through your nose and...they let you keep the piece of brain they cut out. Look! (to his brain, in the jar) Ooh! Hello! Hello there! Who's that big man there? Who's that?
...
SKINNER
Oh, relax, kids, I've got a gut feeling Uter is around here somewhere. After all, isn't there a little Uter in all of us? In fact, you might even say we just ate Uter and he's in our stomachs right now! Wait...scratch that one.
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