[Prudence]

x-posted - sorry for those of you seeing this twice.

Yes, it's episode eleventy-two of "things that are conspiring to drive Prudence mad"

Or: No, it's not all in her head, some people really are out to get her.

Just got off the phone with the clerkship adviser at my school. It's a new position this year. SU has never really pushed students to do clerkships before. I don't think there's been anyone from SU clerking federally for years, and no list of judges who've hired SU alumni (and thus don't go "where?!" when they see our transcripts.)

But, getting students out and clerking is a way to increase the profile of the school, which will increase the school's ranking in the annual US News & World Report thingy. Driving up the ranking is the Dean's #1 priority, and getting students clerking is her #1 priority way of accomplishing that. So, that's why I've been encouraged to apply like I have been - applying anywhere I'd be willing to go, as broadly as possible. As fast as possible. And preferably by US Mail, because the online system sees me as a current student.

(For those who haven't heard me say this a billion times already, rising 3Ls can't apply until September 4. Graduates can apply any time. No one knows what to do with students graduating in December, who are over half-way through their 3L year and thus not rising 3Ls, but also not graduates. In the past, we've been treated as grads (everyone with a 2007 graduation date is treated the same - May, June, August, December, whatever), but the people who run the online application system decided - just this year, of course, to lump us in with the current students, because in their view we're regular students who took extra classes and are graduating a term early to cheat the system, and not part-time students graduating a term late. Whatever.)

The preference is to send hard-copy applications to judges that don't require the online application system, so that we can get seen early. Because as soon as a judge finds a candidate they like, the position is filled. They don't wait until the posted deadline, review all the applications, schedule interviews, and do all the interviews, and then decide. They schedule interviews as applications come in, and as soon as they get one they want, that's it - game over.

So, why is Prudence bitching today, you might ask? Because I just found out from the clerkship adviser that I'm not imagining things - the staff responsible for generating the faculty reference letters have been DELIBERATELY stonewalling the process. "Pushback" was the term used. The staff have decided, all on their own, that students are applying to too many places, because it's never been like this before. The latter part is true, because the school has never pushed this possibility before. And now it is, and so letters are needed. And they're needed in a timely fashion, so that we can get applications in BEFORE the position is filled.

But no, the staff don't want us to do that. And that's why it takes 3 weeks to get 10 letters from a mail merge data source *I* provided, ready for merging with the ALREADY WRITTEN reference letter. Because the staff think our requests are inappropriate, they won't do them. Period.

So, the Dean says "apply!" The career office says "apply!" And the staff say "tough sh!t, no reference letters until we feel like printing them."

I know it's a PITA to do this stuff. I used to have that sort of job and had to do the letters. I know. I'm sorry. I would have brought them chocolates at the end to thank them. But no, now they get nothing. They have deliberately been not producing the letters, which means that several times I've mailed off packets and later that day growled as the job status changed to "filled". What if I had been able to mail that 3 weeks earlier? Hmmmm?

The good news is that the Dean has authorized the clerkship person to hire a temp who will now produce all these letters as the temp's sole and exclusive task. The bad news is that it will take a week at least to get this person hired and get the reference letter files from the secretaries - who apparently are even resisting the idea of someone ELSE doing the work, because we are just greedy students who don't deserve nice jobs.

The reason I've been so miserable the past year or so is that it feels like at every turn in this job search process, something goes terribly - and unusually - wrong. A bad grade was a mistake. Can't apply until 9/4. Secretaries won't provide references. Law school felt right, felt like what I was supposed to do, but these roadblocks are so infuriating. Every day I want to give up. I feel like I'm in a marathon and I've hit the "wall" and now I'm just mind-over-mattering myself forward. Why the **** am I doing this to myself? I keep hoping that this is some karmic down payment on what will eventually be wonderful, but then more **** happens and I think well, maybe this is the wrong path after all? Maybe I'm suppose to be a stay-at-home mom or something. Nothing wrong with that as a career, but it's not the career I want. I want to research and analyze and write and split the hair and argue about whose half-hair is larger.

And right now I want to beat my own brains out on the nearest brick wall.

And thus concludes today's episode of "what the hell is wrong with that Prudence chick?"