Live beneath your means.
It's the easiest thing to say, but one of the hardest to do. I remember the first raise I got at my first job, I thought, "oh wow, I'll have all this extra money", and my boss (a good friend) said to me, "it doesn't matter how much of a raise you get, you'll find a way to spend it, and you'll be back in the same place that you are now". I didn't believe it at the time, but it sure seems to happen again and again. There are many smart people on this board who come up with good ideas. It's up to you to pick and choose the ideas that will best fit your situation.
For me, it's easiest if I don't see the money in the first place. If I can have a portion of my payroll deposited in another account (that's difficult to access), that helps to force me to save (sort of like a 401k withdrawal). It's amazing how well you will adapt to the spend only the money you have.
A friend of mine gave me a book, "
The Richest Man in Babylon", which I found very helpful, and had a lot of good common sense advice told in an entertaining way.
You said that you eat out a lot. I used to too, but now I bring my lunch to work. Maybe you can strike a balance where you could eat out a bit (to appease the ISM on your shoulder), and bring your lunch ( to appease the DPR on your other shoulder).
Anyway, enough of my blathering. This is a situation we all have to deal with in our own ways. I'm sure you will strike a balance that will let you achieve your goals.