[Claire]

When I was pregnant with Courtney, I craved food....lots of spicy food, to be precise. Especially spicy barbecue ribs and Mexican food.

One day in particular, I went out for Mexican with some friends in the afternoon, and later that night, Kelly and I went out for all-you-can-eat ribs for dinner. The craving part of my brain was in heaven, but the rest of me was HATING it. My abdomen was one solid mass of hurt.

After dinner, we stopped by Target to get some stuff for our new apartment. We were looking at some framed prints, when I released the most noxious fumes ever released into the earth's atmosphere. There was another couple standing near us, and as they stumbled away gasping for air, I loudly said, "Jeesh. Thanks for stopping by!!" Then we bolted....also...gasping. And laughing. We were laughing SO hard. My husband was like, "God, what a couple of assholes! I can't believe that smell!" I was like, "Uh, yeah. Buttheads!"

On to the next store. My husband keeps yelling, "Thanks for stopping by!" to perfect strangers, and grumbling about what those idiots must have eaten in order to make such a profane odor. I was feeling like I'd just gotten away with murder.

And then when I was alone on an aisle Z....I could feel my stomach move and groove and then DAMN that smell left my body again. I started laughing again....all by myself. And quickly left the aisle.

A few minutes go by....my husband remembered he needed something on aisle Z and I turned beet red, then relaxed, thinking there was NO WAY that smell could still be there. My husband returned from aisle Z, his eyebrows burnt off, his nose watering....and was able to sputter the words....."Thanks for stopping by!"

We literally couldn't walk, we were laughing SO HARD. I think we left without actually purchasing anything.

Eleven years later and anytime either of us hears or says, "Thanks for stopping by!" we laugh like stupid lunatics.

And that was the last time I ever farted.