Dear remote access using Senior Manager:
We just had a ton of layoffs because business is slow. A new laptop will be close to $3k. Your laptop is fine, it is user error. We know you want a new one, but by flat our refusing to do what we request to troubleshoot your issue so you can get one is not the way.
Signed,
Really freeking annoyed IT girl
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Spork is the new MacGyver
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