[AllyOops!]

I'll never, ever forget that day. I remember going out for Monday Night Football the night before & coming home, climbing into bed & waking up to panic & horror the very next morning.

At the time, I worked 9 to 5 at a Media Co. I woke up around 6 to my alarm radio, which was always set to 97.1 because I was (and still am) a monster Howard Stern fan. The Howard Stern Show is located in Manhattan, NY. When my radio clicked on, it was total panic & mayhem on his show. I mean, Howard & Co. were completely as in control as much as they could be, but I knew something was definitely wrong.

I grabbed my remote, switched on my television, and my eyes were met with the instant vision of a smoking tower. I remember thinking, "what an awful plane accident!" Then, immediately after, I thought "Why would one of our planes fly so low in that flight path? What happened? WHOA..twice?" I knew something was very wrong. There was urgency & fear in the news report. The towers were hit. I rubbed my eyes, took of my jammies and started the water for my shower. As I waited for the water to warm, it hit me. What was I doing? I needed to watch the news.

I turned off the faucets, slipped into my bathrobe and sat in front of my TV. My little brother knocked on my door & he looked completely ashen. He asked me if I had heard. I had.

My stepdad left for work, and to drop my brother off at school, and I began to try to get ready for work. My Mom called, who works for the Sherriff's Dept., and she told me they were on "lockdown" (not allowed to leave the building). I just panicked and began to cry. She then told me to get ready and go to work. To keep as distracted as much as I could. After talking with my Mom & Grandma, I finally left for work.

The streets were empty. Where there were people, it was quiet. We watched the news all day long at work. I emailed my stepmom, completely numb and horrified. I printed out that email & I still have it in my safety belongings box. I emailed my best friend, too (who has since passed away) and we vented and talked all day long.

We couldn't even get through to our office in Manhattan, which was so awful, wondering and waiting. When I finally spoke to the New York staff a week or so later, their stories were unbelievable. I would sit for hours on the phone, listening, stunned.

I never, ever want to repeat a day like that. At that time, it was speculation, panic, rumors & I felt completely vulnerable and frightenend. I would lie in my bed, wide awake, in absolute fear.

There is still so much sadness, as was evident when I went to see United 93 at the theater. You could hear a pin drop during the entire movie, until those brave passengers rushed the cockpit. People erupted into cheers, standing on their feet. However, as the plane plummeted & the movie closed, people left the theater in complete silence. I couldn't even sleep that night, imagining how scared I would have felt. My stomach is in knots now. I don't think it will get any easier anytime soon.

My prayers and heart are with all of the families, friends & firefighters, police, and any other volunteer and person involved with the horror of that day. I can't imagine a pain like that ever heals completely.