Ok, I'm kicking myself in the ass. I will get my damn demo reel done and uploaded by month's end, dammit! In fact, I just blocked off the time on my calender to focus just on that, each day for a minimum of 4 hours.
I've been depressed lately with the approaching holidays and having a tight budget that involves having to get outside assistance from my parents just to get the bills paid. I hate living like this, and can't take it anymore. I need paying work.
The show is coming along well, but we're still in "promo" stage, meaning that there is no money coming in. It could take weeks or months, and I can't keep doing this.
I looked at Craigs List again today, and there are editing and/or shooting jobs, but every one of them wants to see a reel (duh), of which I don't have ready yet. I feel like I've backed myself into a corner, and the more I think about what all I have to do, the more depressed I get and I shut myself down, especially with the impending holidays and the pressure to afford presents.
No friggen more, dammit.
I've got awesome gear, and people love my work. I need to stop wasting time on other crap and focus on me for once. No visitors, no going out, nothing... until it is DONE.
I put myself in this position, and I can't change my surroundings, waiting for it to fall into my lap. I need to make it happen. Time to get back to serious work (without the crazy amount of hours like I did over the summer, but still scheduled hours that state, "I'm working!").
Pardon my rant, but I apparently needed the fire under my ass. We've been organizing the home, and it's totally helping to organize the rest of my life too.
|