Quote:
Originally Posted by Morrigoon
That sucks... what did they do to him?
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It's somewhat hard to explain without it sounding like he's just being ungrateful for a non-ideal gift. But it's been a lot of things over the years - like we've lived in our condo for almost 4 years, and they've never visited once. They live 2 hours away and his dad comes over at least monthly to receive his medical care at the VA hospital here. But they've never come to visit their eldest son, who bought a condo, and is making something of himself.
That's just one example. They adopted two kids when he was 18, and they are now the focus. And also the grandkid by Ryan's other brother (brother is about a year and a half younger than Ryan) who isn't married and only recently got a decent job for the first time ever. I know that the younger kids deserve the lion's share of attention, but so help me it seems like Ryan's no longer a kid, and hasn't provided any grandkids yet, so he doesn't matter any more.
Ryan was really upset that, once again, no one from his side of the family asked what he wanted for Christmas. Not that they had to get what was on the list, but he wanted to be asked. Because if they didn't ask, they might get him something like [specific thing he totally didn't want]. I thought this was a little petty. After all, they know him and would never get him [specific thing he totally didn't want] and people are allowed to pick out their own presents. So, as much as I don't like how his parents treat him, I thought this was a silly concern.
Until he opened his present from them -- and there was the very [specific thing he didn't want] he was afraid of receiving.
It's not about the gifts - we actually preferred it last year when they didn't want to exchange gifts. It's that the gifts that are given send a message of "you are no longer important to us".