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How do you feel about making the verb in the first stanza active?
The clang of metal spoons
against plastic trays filled with pureed pot pies
muted the musty smell in the hallway
of bleach and spongebaths and adult diapers.
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"I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice. Here comes the smolder." - Flynn Rider, "Tangled"
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