[lashbear]

Where do I start to describe the places and experiences that are truly American? How do I convey the sense of culture shock and amazement that I felt every day? Perhaps by chronicling the events that happened to me, along with the feelings that accompanied them, I may be able to help you, the reader, know what the America I know is like, and I may be able to convince myself that it actually happened as well.

Let me start with:

DAY 1 - Friday the 29th of November, 1991.
It was only too easy to wake up that morning. The day was fine and I soon got the luggage (pre-packed of course!) and myself into the car. I was driven to the airport by my father (after a tearful farewell from mother). We arrived at the airport and transported my luggage and myself up to the international departures section. Once I got to the ticket booth, I had to make a choice: did we want tickets in smoking or non-smoking? I thought of the hardships I would have to face without cigarettes on the long flight, and weighed it up against the hardships Maree would have to go through being a non-smoker in the smoking section. luckily my mind was made up for me.

"I can give you two seats in the front row of smoking, sir," the attendant said, "which means you can have your cigarettes, and your friend doesn't have to put up with too much smoke." This seemed too good to be true, and so I grabbed up the offer, booking my seat and getting her to hold Maree's seat next to me until she arrived.

That done, the next thing to do was to find Maree and explain to her what the seating arrangement was to be. I didn't find her, but Barrie, her other half, found me.

He explained that Maree was looking for me somewhere in the airport, and so off I went to look for her. I eventually found her, and went with her to the window, where she got her seat on the plane allocated to her.

Dad wished us Bon Voyage and left us with Barrie. We went off to the coffee shop to wait until the plane departed. Maree and Barrie had a drink each and I had something to eat, which was a mistake. The food was grossly overpriced, and I was informed that once we got on the plane, we would be fed to the gills, anyway. Once we finished, we went to do some duty-free shopping.

The shop in the airport was small, but had most things. Maree bought some film, and I bought cigarettes. We had to wait until we went through customs as the shop arranged for us to pick the items up at the pick-up window inside the boarding area. Soon it was time to board so we went through.

We went through the nerve-wracking ordeal of wondering if they would let our on-board luggage through, and all the other niceties, then went through to the plane. Stowing the luggage above your head while a hundred other people jostle you is not a nice experience, but we managed. After making sure the overhead locker was secure, we settled into our seats (nicely placed by the aisle) and awaited further instruction.

The stewardess demonstrated how to apply your lifejacket calmly (something you would never be able to do in an actual emergency) then advised us on the safety features of the plane. A bit more waiting then we finally took off.

The plane was equipped with a video screen that showed us a map of our flight path, readouts showing altitude, and a display of how far we had come on our journey...and how long to get to our destination. These features were enough to keep us amused for fully ten minutes. Then the boredom set in.

To be fair, the airline did all that it could to keep us amused; there were those cute sockettes, earplugs and facemask to play with; they gave you a comb to comb the hairs off the back of the seat in front of you; they even had a headset for you to listen to the radio (that's a bit better..) and later on, we were promised some great movies to watch. But for the present, they had an ace up their sleeve.....

The video screen flickered to life with something to watch. It was an episode of The Comedy Company. The Australians on the plane sat up and started to watch, laughing at the "witty" sketches, while the Americans gave themselves away by sitting there with a "what the heck is this?" expression on their faces. That was enjoyable enough, but then we were shown a travelogue about America. We watched it but after a while, a game of cards started to sound real good. I got out the Euchre cards, and we amused ourselves that way.

I became aware of a gorgeous scent wafting through the cabin of the plane. It was feeding time. We got our meals (I don't remember what they were) and ate them with great enjoyment. They showed us a movie ("Doc Hollywood") and then it was time to doze for a while.

I woke to find another meal being served to me. I ate it, then had a scotch & coke to reliever the boredom. The rest of the flight doesn't even warrant describing.

At last we approached HonoluluAirport after hours & hours of flying. We touched down and were advised there would be a 4 hour layover until our SanFrancisco flight left. Since we were not allowed to leave the airport, Maree & I decided to explore the intriguing world of "The Honolulu Airport Terminal".

First thing I had to do was find a toilet, so I took Maree, and off we went. Finding one eventually, we both went into our respective "Restrooms" (why anyone would go there to have a rest is beyond me!). We both came out full of news about the distinctive & unusual toilet bowls.

American toilets have large, low bowls (a bit like a Marie Antoinette champagne glass), and because they are so low, the water level is almost to the rim - about 4"-5" from your vital bits. They make the most distressing sight when flushed, as the water tends to go around in a whirlpool for 30 sec. after you flush , before disappearing down the pipes then filling up again.

Once we had discussed the merits of watching loos empty, we went in search of excitement. The bar was the obvious place, since nothing of Honolulu could be discerned through the dark windows. (Did I mention it was 11:00 PM!). Finding the bar was no problem, it just involved a lot of walking through the seemingly endless corridor running the length of the terminal.

Once there, we ordered. Maree had a lemonade, and I had a "Budweiser". I also forgot to tip. Being used to strangers from other countries arriving at extremely late hours, the barman didn't hold my lack of generosity against me, which was fortunate for me. We sat talking to a lady from Canada while we had our drinks, and then went off to see the rest of the terminal. We had to, the bar was closing.

Souvenir shopping was on the agenda. We found a little souvenir shop which wasn't closed yet, and bought a couple of things to prove we had been to Hawaii. (well, the airport at least). I found a vending machine which caught my eye.

This is a good place to explain a small point. Maree and I had gained our knowledge of American culture (to a limited extent) from a couple of mutual acquaintances of ours. Their names were Magid - Mag (pronounced "madge") for short) and Nona, his mother. They were wholly American, even though living in Australia. They would get parcels of American food sent to them by relatives in the states, and lived a transplanted American lifestyle in their home in Oz. (we thought they ate a bit too much, however we'll get to that soon.)

Anyhow, One of the things Mag had sent to him on a regular basis was a powdered drink called "Hawaiian Punch". When made up it was vile red in colour, but tasted nice. The vending machine which caught my eye was selling cans of said drink, so I thought I'd buy one and get a real taste of the USA. I inserted a $1 note, and the machine obligingly spat out my can, and a Quarter (25c).

It came out of a vending machine....it was in a soft drink can....I assumed it was fizzy..... The can opened with no telltale hiss, but I didn't notice. I did, however, when I took my first sip! I thought it was still nice, but I had expected something with a little fizz!

The haul to SanFrancisco was the hardest for me as I had now had a taste of the USA and was ready for more. The fact that the trip was to take 5 hours and I had to try to sleep didn't help, either. At last, though, we approached the city of SanFrancisco in the early morning light, which brightened quickly.