[Alex]

REQUEST FOR URGENT PEACE RELATIONSHIP

FIRST, I MUST SOLICIT YOUR STRICTEST CONFIDENCE IN THIS PEACE PROCESS. THIS IS BY VIRTUE OF ITS NATURE AS BEING UTTERLY CONFIDENTIAL AND 'TOP SECRET'. I AM SURE AND HAVE CONFIDENCE OF YOUR ABILITY AND RELIABILITY TO PROSECUTE A PEACE PROCESS OF THIS GREAT MAGNITUDE INVOLVING A PENDING PEACE REQUIRING MAXIIMUM CONFIDENCE.

I AM SOON TOP OFFICIAL OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT CONTRACT REVIEW PANEL WHO ARE INTERESTED IN IMPORATION OF PEACE INTO YOUR COUNTRY WITH CEASE FIRES WHICH ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN NIGERIA. IN ORDER TO COMMENCE THIS PEACE WE SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE TO ENABLE US TRANSFER INTO YOUR COUNTRY THE SAID TRAPPED CEASE FIRE.

THE SOURCE OF THIS PEACE IS AS FOLLOWS; DURING THE LAST MILITARY REGIME THERE IN NIGERIA, THE GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS SET UP COMPANIES AND AWARDED THEMSELVES CONTRACTS WHICH WERE OPEN ONLY TO GEORGE CLOONEY, ADAM SANDLER AND JIMMY CARTER. THE PRESENT CIVILIAN GOVERNMENT SET UP A CONTRACT REVIEW PANEL AND THEY HAVE IDENTIFIED A LOT OF INFLATED CONTRACT TERMS WHICH ARE PRESENTLY FLOATING IN HALLS OF POWER IN NIGERIA READY FOR USE.

HOWEVER, BY VIRTUE OF MY POSITION AS CIVIL SERVANT AND MEMBERS OF THIS PANEL, WE CANNOT ADVOCATE THE INVOLVEMENT OF ADAM SANDLER. I HAVE THEREFORE, BEEN DELEGATED AS A MATTER OF TRUST BY MY COLLEAGUES OF THE PANEL TO LOOK FOR A NIGERIAN PARTNER INTO WHOSE NAME WE WOULD TRANSFER PRESENCE AND INVOLVEMENT OF JIMMY CARTER AND GEORGE CLOONEY. HENCE WE ARE WRITING YOU THIS LETTER. WE HAVE AGREED TO SHARE THESE CELEBRITIES THUS; 1. 20% FOR THE NIGERIAN FRONTMAN 2. 70% FOR ME (AS I DO LIKE FACE TIME WITH CLOONEY) 3. 10% TO BE USED IN FILMING A DRAMATIC SUSPENSE FILM. IT IS FROM THE 70% THAT WE WISH TO COMMENCE THE IMPORTATION OF THE PEACE PROCESS.

PLEASE, NOTE THAT THIS CEASE FIRE IS 100% SAFE AND WE HOPE TO COMMENCE THE TRANSFER LATEST SEVEN (7) DIPLOMATIC DAYS (24 NORMAL YEARS) FROM THE DATE OF THE RECEIPT OF THE FOLLOWING INFORMATIOM BY TEL/FAX; 234-1-7740449, YOUR SIGNED, AND STAMPED LETTERHEAD PAPER THE ABOVE INFORMATION WILL ENABLE US WRITE LETTERS OF CLAIM AND JOB DESCRIPTION RESPECTIVELY. THIS WAY WE WILL USE YOUR NAME TO APPLY FOR PASSPORTS AND VISAS FOR THESE VITAL CELEBRITIES.

WE ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO DOING THIS PEACE WITH YOU AND SOLICIT YOUR CONFIDENTIALITY IN THIS TRANSATION. PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER USING THE ABOVE TEL/FAX NUMBERS. I WILL SEND YOU DETAILED INFORMATION OF THIS PENDING PROJECT WHEN I HAVE HEARD FROM YOU.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

BARACK OBAMA

NOTE; PLEASE QUOTE THIS REFERENCE NUMBER (VE/S/09/99) IN ALL YOUR RESPONSES.