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Put a fresh flat sheet over the bed. Get a large jar of extra-virgin coconut oil, and the nearest significant other. Apply liberally everywhere, including hair and scalp. Because of coconut oil's acidity and antimicrobial properties, it's safe for EVERYWHERE (and useful/fun too!)
Leave it on for an hour or three, making sure to rub as much into your hair as it will hold (foot hair, too), then get in the shower and rinse it off.
You'll be shiny.
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