I'm going to f*cking miss you, George.
Here are some good ones:
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Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.
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Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
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