Lounge of Tomorrow - View Single Post

Motorboat Cruiser · 07-12-2008, 10:29 AM

Interesting discussion and lots of food for thought there, Boss Radio.

I think we can all agree that everyone hated what Helms stood for. So, there’s no disagreement there. In fact, I would say that it is unanimous in this thread. And, for the record I don’t think there is anything particularly wrong with hating inanimate objects. I pretty much hate mint ice cream with all my soul. But I think the line gets a little blurry than some might want to admit when it comes to Helms. People are quick to say that they didn’t hate the man but they hated everything he stood for. But calling him every name in the book isn’t really an attack on his positions, it is an expression of hatred for the man. And I’m not going to say that someone isn’t entitled to that opinion, that he was an evil, vile man. But that simply isn’t how I choose to focus my energy.

I don’t avoid hatred of people in an attempt to be more Christ-like, I do it because I don’t think that anything positive comes from it in my life. I don’t think it brings us any closer to the goal of equality for all people. In fact, I think it separates more than it brings together. I think bigotry is more often the result of fear and ignorance than it is actual hatred. And fear and ignorance can often be combated more successfully through respectful dialog. Sure, someone who truly hates black people or gays isn’t going to change through dialog, but what about all those other people who are simply following what they were taught by their parents or their church, or those who simply fear what they don’t understand.

I always found it interesting that when I would come out to a friend I had known for a long time, they always had a million questions. And I think that stems from the fact that they had never really known someone who was gay on a personal level before. And usually after we spent some time talking, they came to the understanding that nothing had changed, that I was the same person that I always was. And they were forced to confront some of these long-held misconceptions they had, this certainty that gay people were sooo different from them. Turns out, we have far more in common than differences. Imagine that.

And so, when I’m confronted by someone who holds on to this ignorance and fear, I always see an opportunity to try and change their perspective. But I’m sure not going to do it through name calling and telling them they are horrible people for believing what they do. And if I let anger or hatred take control of me, we simply cannot communicate effectively with each other. My method works, I’ve seen it work. It does not work on someone filled with hatred, however, because there is no desire to understand the other side. And if I were filled with hate and anger, I would have little desire to understand the other side either. That’s why I think that hatred can be more of a hindrance than an asset.

This is perhaps a poor analogy but, how many times was it said during the Iraq War that winning the battle was meaningless if the hearts and minds of the people couldn’t be won. And that’s kind of what I feel like here – it’s one thing to beat down a bigot through force, quite another to change the mind of his followers and thereby make him irrelevant. So, there are those who want to shout down Fred Phelps and show their hatred for the man, and I suppose that has its place. But I rather like the fact that other than his brainwashed family members, he really has no support from anyone. He is a caricature, someone who is generally pitied by all of society who sits back and watches hate envelope and destroy him. And in many ways, the same thing was true of Helms. He will never be remembered for any of the miniscule good that he did, so don’t sweat it. He will always be remembered for the bigot he was. Of this, I have no doubt.

There are two fronts to this ongoing battle against discrimination. One is to take on the truly vile in our society and the other is to engage in all of those who don’t act out of hatred but out of fear and ignorance. And while hatred may have its place for the former, it simply isn’t effective for the latter. So I will let those who want to destroy the evil-doers of society have at it with little complaint from me. But I would like to think that I am doing my part as well, every time I am able to get someone to reexamine their position. And for what I’m trying to do, hate simply doesn’t work.

07-12-2008, 10:29 AM	#178
Motorboat Cruiser Cruiser of Motorboats Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: So Cal Posts: 3,665	Interesting discussion and lots of food for thought there, Boss Radio. I think we can all agree that everyone hated what Helms stood for. So, there’s no disagreement there. In fact, I would say that it is unanimous in this thread. And, for the record I don’t think there is anything particularly wrong with hating inanimate objects. I pretty much hate mint ice cream with all my soul. But I think the line gets a little blurry than some might want to admit when it comes to Helms. People are quick to say that they didn’t hate the man but they hated everything he stood for. But calling him every name in the book isn’t really an attack on his positions, it is an expression of hatred for the man. And I’m not going to say that someone isn’t entitled to that opinion, that he was an evil, vile man. But that simply isn’t how I choose to focus my energy. I don’t avoid hatred of people in an attempt to be more Christ-like, I do it because I don’t think that anything positive comes from it in my life. I don’t think it brings us any closer to the goal of equality for all people. In fact, I think it separates more than it brings together. I think bigotry is more often the result of fear and ignorance than it is actual hatred. And fear and ignorance can often be combated more successfully through respectful dialog. Sure, someone who truly hates black people or gays isn’t going to change through dialog, but what about all those other people who are simply following what they were taught by their parents or their church, or those who simply fear what they don’t understand. I always found it interesting that when I would come out to a friend I had known for a long time, they always had a million questions. And I think that stems from the fact that they had never really known someone who was gay on a personal level before. And usually after we spent some time talking, they came to the understanding that nothing had changed, that I was the same person that I always was. And they were forced to confront some of these long-held misconceptions they had, this certainty that gay people were sooo different from them. Turns out, we have far more in common than differences. Imagine that. And so, when I’m confronted by someone who holds on to this ignorance and fear, I always see an opportunity to try and change their perspective. But I’m sure not going to do it through name calling and telling them they are horrible people for believing what they do. And if I let anger or hatred take control of me, we simply cannot communicate effectively with each other. My method works, I’ve seen it work. It does not work on someone filled with hatred, however, because there is no desire to understand the other side. And if I were filled with hate and anger, I would have little desire to understand the other side either. That’s why I think that hatred can be more of a hindrance than an asset. This is perhaps a poor analogy but, how many times was it said during the Iraq War that winning the battle was meaningless if the hearts and minds of the people couldn’t be won. And that’s kind of what I feel like here – it’s one thing to beat down a bigot through force, quite another to change the mind of his followers and thereby make him irrelevant. So, there are those who want to shout down Fred Phelps and show their hatred for the man, and I suppose that has its place. But I rather like the fact that other than his brainwashed family members, he really has no support from anyone. He is a caricature, someone who is generally pitied by all of society who sits back and watches hate envelope and destroy him. And in many ways, the same thing was true of Helms. He will never be remembered for any of the miniscule good that he did, so don’t sweat it. He will always be remembered for the bigot he was. Of this, I have no doubt. There are two fronts to this ongoing battle against discrimination. One is to take on the truly vile in our society and the other is to engage in all of those who don’t act out of hatred but out of fear and ignorance. And while hatred may have its place for the former, it simply isn’t effective for the latter. So I will let those who want to destroy the evil-doers of society have at it with little complaint from me. But I would like to think that I am doing my part as well, every time I am able to get someone to reexamine their position. And for what I’m trying to do, hate simply doesn’t work.
	Submit to Quotes