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This is a true story…
Stoat: "Hi, I'd like to speak to Janet"
Telephonist: "Janet's on holidays"
Stoat: "Oh...Ok, can I speak to someone else in her department?"
Telephonist: "Well, let me see, hmmm…Nicole”
Stoat: “Yes, Ok, I’ll speak to Nicole”
Telephonist: “I’ll put you on hold…”
[heavy metal din rattles my fillings for 5 minutes]
Not Nicole: “Hi, this is the Communications Department”
Stoat: “Hi Nicole, I need some legal advice”
Not Nicole: “This is not Nicole, it’s Julie”
Stoat: “Sorry Julie, I was told that I’d be speaking to Nicole”
Julie: “Nicole doesn’t work here any more”
Stoat: “Well I actually wanted to speak to Janet, but she’s on holidays”
Julie: “No she’s not – she’s in today”
Stoat: “Oh good – may I speak with her?”
Julie: “Sorry, Janet’s on another call right now”
Stoat: “Well, I can hold until she’s available”
Julie: “I’ll put you on hold…”
[heavy metal din rattles my fillings for 5 minutes]
Not Julie: “How can I help you?”
Stoat: “Hi Julie?...I was waiting for Janet”
Not Julie: “This not Julie, this is Christina…Julie has gone to lunch”
Stoat: “Christina, may I please speak to Janet?”
Christina: “Janet is on holidays”
Stoat: “But Julie told me that Janet was on another call”
Christina: “Look..can someone else help you? Nicole is available”
Stoat: “But Julie told me that Nicole doesn’t work there anymore”
Christina: “I’ll put you on hold…”
[heavy metal din rattles my fillings for 10 minutes]
Stoat: “Hi Christina?...what’s the deal with Nicole?”
Not Christina: “This is not Christina, this is Trudy”
Stoat: “Sorry Trudy, I was after Janet”
Trudy: “Janet’s knocked off for the day”
Stoat: “Well when should I call back?”
Trudy: “Janet will be on holidays for two weeks…
Stoat: [silence]
Trudy: "Can someone else help you?”
Stoat: “God might have – but I think he has forsaken me – click”
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