[Scrooge McSam]

We've been through this. NO usernames will be created without security clearance FIRST!

I didn't create the rules. I just follow them.

No, the Microsoft password is for your remote connections.

All passwords are case sensitive now. They have been for the last xx months

Did you reboot? When is the last time you rebooted? Do you remember?

PLEASE, stop opening email attachments!

Your machine is infected with spyware.

<sigh> You want it WHEN?

I'll have a number 31... no cheese or sour cream, please.

Yep! When I'm shadowing you, I see exactly what you see.

If this document has errors, why did you approve and release it?

No, even I can't edit a released document. We can only mod it. We've never been able to edit a released document and we never will be able to. That's why we ask you to approve it before you release it.

ilovemyjobilovemyjobilovemyjobilovemyjobilovemyjob (ad infinitum)

Have we EVER loaded a domestic vendor without a valid tax ID?

You didn't get XX credit because you didn't mark the vendor XX.

I have no idea why your internet music service isn't working. (And may I pause for just a moment and express how little I care whether your internet music service is working?)

Did you get the memo from helpdesk dated <insert date here>?

What memo???

We don't use that form if it's a zero dollar action.

No, this is Sam... just a second, I'll transfer you.

Is it 4 o'clock YET!!!!