[Cadaverous Pallor]

Originally Posted by lindyhop

You have the opportunity to visit your 6-year old self for five minutes. What do you tell your younger self? Does she listen?

A little backstory first: When I was six we moved. I had been, from what I remember, very happy and even somewhat popular in my old school, for Kinder and part of first grade. As soon as we moved, all of that changed, and I was at the bottom of the social ladder. It wasn't until 9th grade that I actually started having fun socially at school again.

I'd say, "Life is going to be challenging. You are going to have some bad times. You may feel like things won't get better, and you'll feel scared and small. But one day, you will learn to be proud of yourself and not be scared of anyone. You have to be strong and even in the saddest times, remember that one day you will be happy. All your best dreams will come true, you just have to be strong."

I think being overly unhappy due to social pressure is the one big mistake of my young life.

I'd also say that my parents would be hard to deal with, but that one day that'll be ok too. And that I should try to be nice to my mom, because she really does love me, and just doesn't know how to show it very well. Same goes for my brother and dad. "One day you'll miss your brother very much, so be with him and enjoy it while you can."

Would six year old me listen? I think so. I believed in magic for a long, long time, and I can see myself completely believing that this is me, all grown up. Plus, I think just seeing me as I am now would be a great confidence booster. I do think younger me would ignore the "be nice to your family" part, but perhaps walk a little taller, and that'd be worth the trip.

I remember you mentioning a journal in another thread. Do you still keep a journal? What purpose does it (or did it) serve for you?

I did bits and pieces of journaling in high school. Toward the end of high school it was more poetry and short spurts of journaling done on notebook paper to vent frustrations and work out issues regarding attractions and conflicts with friends. I spent many a night writing out feelings by flashlight when I couldn't sleep.

It's funny because as soon as I moved in with GD and truly became happy and less conflicted I pretty much stopped writing all together. A pen and paper was my sole companion when I felt rejected by others and punished by God. Loneliness was my muse.

I turned my writing to emails, and then I became addicted to message boards. So you guys end up saddled with most of my musings.

These days, I don't journal very much really. I do still have one that I've written in sporadically for years. I only turn to it when I have something to vent that I don't want to bore others with....or if it's something that I don't even want to face, never mind burden anyone else with. I make resolutions and decisions, I clearly state when something really angers me....and it kind of makes the feelings feel permanent, or solid, in some way, and I feel justified. Even if I become a backslider later, which I do often.

I think mostly it's "how did I get here" musings, trying to see how things tie together, piecing together the path I'm walking. I also dig the idea of saving a moment for posterity. I love revisiting my emotions past.

You have an unexpected day off work with no other obligations or errands needing your attention. None of your friends or family can take time off and join you. How do you spend the day?

Reality: Sleep in, read the boards for half the day, take a nap, read my book, realize my husband will be home soon.

The better answer: I think I would sleep in. But perhaps then I'd go to the local park, walk around and breathe fresh air, feed the ducks, read and maybe even try working on writing my great novel/screenplay....but mostly clear my head, daydream, lay on the blanket and snooze in the sun. Yeah, I know, it's not much, but I seriously love being lazy laying in a grassy place.

If you were a super hero, what super power would you have and why?

Damn, that's a good one.

Flight, gotta have flight! And I wouldn't be super strong or anything so it's not like I could save lives, just fly from place to place is all. Errands would be such a breeze.

Choose an animal, a vegetable, and a weather phenomenon that describe you.[/list]

Geez, I'm always so terrible at this. Um....that describe me? I think others would be better at answering that...

Animal...hmm, that's tough. I find admirable qualities in a lot of different animals. I've always loved giraffes but I'm nothing like them - quiet, tall, stately. How about frogs? Some are colorful and cute and they can be loud if they want. I don't know, I just pulled that out of thin air.

Ok, if by "vegetable" you mean any plant (animal, vegetable, mineral) then I'd pick daisies. I don't really know why, I just like 'em. They're simple, informal, pretty. Smell nice but not overpowering. They can be plain white or come in all kinds of cool colors. And they're decently hardy plants. I had daisies at my wedding.

Weather, wow....a warm rainy day. Where it's raining, but not too hard, just enough to get you wet...and just warm enough to be comfortable (we don't get much of that in SoCal but I've had it elsewhere). The humidity is high and warm and it's almost as if the air is hugging you, but the rain keeps it from being oppressive, and you're happy to get rained on. The sky is dark, almost green, and there's lightning high and far away. I love the rain. I don't know if that describes me but it's what I pick.

I'll come up with an interview tomorrow. Thanks for the great questions, lindyhop!