Today, while reading a magazine during my obligatory 30-minutes of cardio on the elliptical machine, I came upon a Mahatma Gandhi quote in the From the Editor page.
Quote:
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“Live as if to die tomorrow. Learn as if to live forever.”
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While we all have obligations in our lives, from the mundane and standard, to the difficult and trying, I know it is easy to neglect our obligations to ourselves.
Everyday chores aside, here is my alternate list of obligations:
Be kind to myself.
Pursue a career that I want, not a career that I am stuck with.
Make time for friends, family, and good times.
Keep negativity away from me, and harsh judgments at arm’s lengths.
Indulge in the arts I have shrunk away from.
Immerse myself in the waters of many cultures.
Pursue passions meaningful to me, and leave other pursuits behind.
And again,
Be kind to myself.
Tomorrow, I should keep track of how many times I tell myself no, that I can’t, that it won’t work, and that I’ll fail. I hesitate from the most insipid things, and ultimately, I’ve come to realize, that this anxiety and ultimately, immobilization comes from my fear of failure, which is irrational. I fear confrontation, I fear not being accepted, I fear so so much, and ignore the obligation I have to myself. I help others when they need it, but me? They can fail; I can’t. Though I fail every day.
There has been much greatness achieved by those who went against greater odds than I can imagine. How insignificant my problems are compared to the vastness of the world. What a speck (a fleck!) I am!
Further into the magazine was an article on those who stayed in and came to Thailand after the tsunami last year. Families lost, homes, livelihoods, pain, and suffering. And here I am, in plush southern California wasting away each day. Each day could be my last. Every time a breeze goes by… could be a sensation I never get to feel again, and I should treat it as such. So, I’m trying to teach myself a new lesson on the sanctity of life, not only of others’, but the sanctity of myself.