[Ghoulish Delight]

Good timing. I just attended a wedding for a close high school (and jr. high school) friend, the last of my closest high school friends to get hitched.

Had you asked me this prior to this weekend I would have listed a lot of changes. But this weekend made me realize that many of those that I would list do not constitute actual change, but rather an error in perception.

I spent most of high school concerned with whether I was liked or not. And I pretty regularly came to the conclusion that I was not. Tolerated at best, a hanger on to a couple different groups who were "real friends" with each other.

Spending the weekend celebrating with those friends has opened my eyes to the fact that any such insecurities were of my own making. Even during senior year, when I got over much of my fear of social rejection, I was never convinced that I was truly part of any group. But I was finally able to take a step back and realize that the fault for any distance was squarely on me, that those friends would have been happy at any time to accept me if I had let my apprehension drop and just join in the fun.

And I'm happy to report that it still holds true. I think I'm lucky in this day and age that I still have contact with a core group of high school friends. You share a lot in high school and the relationships you build there are pretty damned unique. We're mostly scattered, and see each other only rarely, but when we do it's like only a moment has passed.

So what's changed? Confidence mostly. That's what it boils down to.

Oh, and lot more drinking, drugs, and sex. Infinitely more on all fronts, as a matter of fact, since I'd had none of those before graduation day (the drinking started ON graduation day).