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Ooh, I've got a similar one to Occurance #2:
"Here's a schedule with specific milestones on specific days, to be completed in two weeks."
"Okay, I will have it done in two weeks and maintain the schedule of milestones."
3 days later, everything exactly on schedule.
"So you'll have this done by the end of the week, right?"
"Umm, I'm going by the schedule for the end of next week."
"That's okay, don't have to follow that. Have it done by this week."
"THEN WHY DID YOU MAKE THE BLOODY SCHEDULE YOU BRAINDEAD MORON!!!"
Okay, maybe not the last part. I'm so glad I don't report to her anymore.
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'He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me.'
-TJ
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