Quote:
Originally Posted by Eliza Hodgkins 1812
That was me reading American Pshyco
For the record, I am not anti-child. I just don't want children of my own. (There are many reasons for this, and one of them IS because I know how hard it is.) I don't like how some people have tried to make me feel like this is a severe lack on my part. I've had a co-worker say, "You can never really know love until you have a child." I've had people who barely know me say, "Oh, but you will. Someday. Trust me." If some people feel those without children speak out of turn about parenting, it goes both ways. Parents often make non-breeders feel like there is something wrong with them.
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I know exactly what you're talking about and I think that when people think that you you will be sorry, that you don't know what you're talking about, etc. are stupid.
I didn't plan on having kids at all. I love them but never felt any maternal urge. I got all sorts of grief from everyone...someone even told me I was being selfish (which to be fair, not gracing humanity with more of my gene pool
would have been rather selfish). Then, at 32...ooops! (let's just say that 99.7% figure for the pill leaves a little wiggle room)
So I've been on both sides of the fence and respect both sides. I can also honestly say that to some degree I agree with your co-worker; in my wildest imagination, I couldn't have imagined loving anyone or anything as much as I love my daughter. I don't mean to imply at all that you are lacking or crazy because you don't want kids. I've known the feeling.
Having said that, it annoys me every bit as much if not more when people say, "if I was a parent" or, "if I had kids" as when people would say things about my decision not to have kids. Personally, I think the "stick to what you know" factor applies here (and never make definitive statements about things removed from your experience, I used to say, "if I were a parent..." all of the time but reality is
a lot different from observation).