Wow, LSPE. 
My entry seems rather pathetic in comparison, but here it is.
Mother's Day
Those damned cards. The holiday really wouldn't be all that bad if weren't for the damn stupid cards.
First there are the "Mother" cards. Almost never have I bought a "Mother" card. She's Mom, always has been. "Mother" is what my stuck-up aunt calls my grandmother. “Mother, what a lovely dinner!” “Mother will come along, won’t you?” She speaks with the cadence of some aristocracy far from our own family. The very association with my aunt has always soured me on the word “Mother”.
If you can't buy a “Mother” card, your choices have been chopped in half, at least.
Now if the card talks about being patient, or having a gentle way, or listening well, or bringing harmony to the family, or having grace....it's just so not my mom that I can't bring myself to purchase it.
My mom is a tough lady that works her ass off. She yelled at us all the time. We deserved it because we never helped her. She and I were enemies for years.
If the card talks about pampering herself or taking the day off, she laughs grimly. My mom doesn't take many breaks. She does nearly every chore in the house. Perhaps she’ll pamper herself when all the kids are gone. Only a couple of years left. Her joys are cigarettes, taped soap operas watched alone, and keeping her flower garden tidy. My mom doesn't have friends, doesn’t do much for fun.
I know I could write my own card. I have, many times before. But it's become very hard for me to articulate my oddly conflicting feelings for my mother. I've seen too much, and I'm too honest to pretend I haven't. She screwed me up in a lot of ways. But I know that she really is loving and generous and cares very deeply about all of us…in some ways. And as an adult I’ve come to see her with a love generated by sadness about her choices that led to her current status. Yeah, it’s pity, but it has to do with shared experiences – I prefer the word “empathy”.
So there I stand, looking at card after card, trying to filter out one that doesn’t lie. One that won’t seem ridiculous. I usually end up with “we appreciate all you’ve done for us.” That is accurate, at least, and heartfelt.
The upshot is that as I’m reading all of the rejected cards, I realize that there really are moms out there that “always know just what to say” or “that I can come to with any problem” or are “filled with joy and laughter”. I have to admit, after many years of enduring the card aisle, I get a bit jealous.