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'Ignore' is as useful an option in real life as it is online, and it often provides the same results. When they aren't able to engage you in their game, the brothers will eventually move on to someone else who will provide entertainment. Your wife really needs to be on board, though- if they can provoke her into feeling bad then they're still getting their twisted needs met. She should know it's okay to not go with the status quo if it's hurting her or anyone else- there is nothing wrong with growing up and refusing to play the old family roles, especially if you're the punching bag. I put my foot down after years of this kind of **** on both sides of my family, and after a period of adjustment things really did calm down. Now, everyone knows that if they want a family gathering, there will be no drama allowed.
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