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There are plenty of ways to let someone know you find them cognitively inept. But I've long thought that people who use "retard" as a casual slur do sound pretty boorish.
There was an episode of The Larry Sanders Show in which Hank guest-hosted for a couple of nights. His first time up was a rousing success, but on his second night, he lost the audience by his use of the word "retard." It prompted a classic TV moment of oh-so-awkward discomfort comedy. Another pop culture moment that comes to mind is in Woody Allen's wonderful comedy Bullets Over Broadway, in which the ditzy gangster moll wannabe star Olive calls something "retarded" in her own completely clueless way. I recall thinking that this singular moment, which succeeds in making Olive look as stupid as humanly possible, should have put that particular epithet into permanent retirement. Check it out. (If for no other reason than that its one of Woody's best and most accessible comedies.)
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